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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399422">Travelling Soldier</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenhawkss/pseuds/Ravenhawkss'>Ravenhawkss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Army, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, COMPLETE!, Cute, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, LGBTQ Female Character, Slow Burn, Small Towns, Soldier!Toni, Some army stuff, Teen Romance, Waitress!Shelby, slight domestic abuse and violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:00:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenhawkss/pseuds/Ravenhawkss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>&gt;&gt;Complete&lt;&lt;</p><p>On her 18th birthday, Toni Shalifoe heads to an army base to begin her training. On the way her truck breaks down and she meets a cute waitress. Toni asks if she can write to Shelby while she's away because she has no one else to talk to. Following is a story of love, self discovery, angst, and friendship</p><p>Loosely based on the Dixie chicks song Travellin' Soldier but with a HAPPY ENDING<br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dot Campbell/Mateo, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>634</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Some accuracy may be sacrificed for plot and relationship development lol.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Happy birthday Toni!” Shouts Miles, one of the four foster kids living in the Roy household. Miles being the youngest, then Sarah, John and Toni the oldest at 17, well 18 today. Her ‘parents’ bring out a box of cupcakes with basketballs iced in in swirly orange and white. They have smiles on their faces but Toni could see that they’d rather be doing something else. After all, they’re doing it for the money.</p><p><br/>“Thanks Jane” Toni forces a small smile. While she’s been living in this house for a few years now it still doesn’t feel like home. Jane and Tom tried in the beginning, came to her basketball games and paid for music lessons, but when Toni continued to pull away they gave up. Logically, the only thing they’re good for is the free food and property to keep her beat up pick-up on. The rusty vehicle is missing a back window and a headlight but it’s great to lie in the back and stare up at the stars in. The many nights Toni spent memorizing the map in the sky outnumbers those she stayed in the moldy basement her parents call her room.</p><p><br/>The two months she spent with Reagan were the best she can remember. She was her person, the one she shared all her secrets with, the one she spent nights thinking about, the one she thought she loved. Until Reagan broke her heart. Toni recalls the night with immense clarity, the fight, breaking her windshield, twisting her ankle running away from the scene. Just thinking about it causes her to bite her lip, holding back all the emotion.</p><p><br/>Good thing she’s getting the fuck out of this small town that’s given her nothing but misery.</p><p><br/>Toni grabs the first cupcake she sees and shoves it in her mouth, getting orange frosting all over her face. “Oh Toni, can’t you be any less messy” Jane scolds as crumbs tumble out of Toni’s mouth and onto the rug.</p><p><br/>“Nope” she says with her mouth still full and ruffles Miles’ hair before spinning off her chair and heading to the basement. “I’m going to pack.” God she couldn’t wait to get out of here.</p><p><br/>Her foster family watches her go with little emotion, eating up all but one of the cupcakes and going about their day.</p><p><br/>The door lets out a creak as Toni pushes it open, revealing an unfinished area with low ceilings and wooden beams. The floor is chilly under her bare feet as she treads across the floor to the few possessions she keeps down here- a bag of clothes, a ring on a chain her mother gave her when she was sober many years ago, extra shoes, a toothbrush and a small suitcase. Everything else is in her truck, her wallet, backpack and other small things, as well as countless empty bags of Takis. Reagan always said her truck smelled like a vending machine exploded, but Toni secretly liked the scent. If nothing else it was familiar, and constant. When no one else was there for her, Takis were. Also kept in the glove box of her truck was the journal the school therapist gave to her. Toni would never admit it but sometimes it did help to angrily scrawl her frustration onto the thick pages. No one would ever see it.</p><p><br/>Toni dumps the garbage bag full of clothes on the ground and selects some tank tops, cargo pants, leggings and sweaters to pack into the suitcase. For a moment, she just stands still, listening to the dripping faucet on the other end of the hall, the patter of footsteps above, the faint pounding of a basketball outside. She thinks about what her parents would say if they knew, probably that she was a dumbass and wouldn’t be coming back alive. Toni scoffs at the imaginary conversation and lugs the weighted suitcase up the stairs.</p><p><br/>“You’re leaving today?” Jane says, looking at Toni over her shoulder from the kitchen.</p><p><br/>“Yea, uh, it’s about ten hours there plus stops to refuel, and knowing my piece-of-shit truck I’ll need more time. Not the place I want to be late to.” Toni grumbles and drags her suitcase out the door and over the dry grass to her parked truck. The red paint is faded and rubbed off in most parts, but it works, and that’s good enough for Toni.<br/>Her foster mother follows her out the door, and just as Toni chucks her suitcase into the back, Jane lays a hand on her shoulder. “Be safe,” she says, with a hint of tenderness Toni’s never experienced before. For a moment she considers what her life could be like if she allowed herself to be loved, could she really have had a family here?</p><p><br/>Too late for that anyway. Toni gives her a small smile and climbs in the driver's seat, turns the engine and backs out of the scrapyard of a property before she can change her mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Meet-Cute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni meets Shelby in the diner after her truck breaks down.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Fuck!” Toni shouts, smacking the steering wheel. Her truck sputters and coughs, jostling roughly as she turns into the closest lot. She just pulls into a spot as the engine fizzles out and everything goes silent. “Shit!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni tries turning the key a few times to no avail. The hunk of metal is dead. Toni takes a few breaths to calm herself and looks around to see where she’s stuck. A tacky looking building with wide windows looms ahead, faded red and white paint swatches are obviously covering up some old graffiti. The sign on the top reads ‘Boonville Diner.’ What kind of white shit… A laugh breaks Toni out of her frustrated trance. She looks to the side of the building where it looks like a few employees are on break. There’s a blonde with her hair done up with a bow, even from here Toni could tell she has pretty eyes. She’s sitting on the lap of a typical small town jock- the muscle shirts, dirty blond hair. They’re obviously the couple to envy in this town, the rich, perfect, pretty people that everyone wants to hang out with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni manifests their stereotypical situation in a snarky voice in her head as she watches the girl take a long drag of a cigarette, a few friends laughing at something the boy said. The girl looks at her watch and jumps off the boys lap, kissing him on the cheek as she rushes back inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni herself looks at the time and realizes she’s way ahead of schedule. She grabs her wallet and leaves her truck to go explore. Aside from the diner, in the lot is a convenience store. That’s it. As she heads there to grab a snack and a smoke she spots a bus station on the other side of the street. Steering in that direction, Toni increases her speed. Stupid bus. Stupid truck, she only had about 3 hours left to go, and taking a bus would only get her so far. Now she’d have to plan when to get on and off and ughhhhh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni grumbles under her breath as she enters the small shelter and analyzes the maps and times. The route she finds might work adds another few hours to the trip, between waiting for other buses, stops and detours. This is SO inconvenient. She wants to punch something. The first bus stops here every hour, and the last one just came a few minutes ago. Toni scribbles down the details of her new journey on her arm with a pen and heads back towards her truck. Shit, the truck. Oh well, whoever decides to eventually move it can have it, she’ll take what she needs and not turn back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once all her things were packed into the one suitcase and backpack Toni goes back to the convenience store. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leans against the front of the diner and pulls a drag, letting the smoke fill her lungs. Toni remembers choking on her first cigarette her dad gave her at 13. Since then she’s used them to calm down, her parents never cared when she stole from their stash. Once feeling relaxed and more herself, Toni snuffs it out and tucks the rest in her backpack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at the time again she realizes she has just over a half hour, and headed into the diner for a cup of coffee. She seats herself at a booth with tearing red seats and a large window overlooking the parking lot. Cars whizz by on the street beside and Toni notices how excited she is to not be in Minnesota, to be on her own. The scent of sandwich bread and cheese wafts over from the kitchens, and Toni realizes just how little she’s eaten today. She decides to splurge for a cup of coffee AND a sandwich. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni’s lost in her thoughts as a waitress walks up and asks her what she would like to order. It takes Toni a second to notice the girl is talking to her. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl raises her eyebrow and smirks. “I’m Shelby, I’ll be your waiter today. Can I get you something to drink first or are you ready to order?” Up close Toni realizes she was right. The girl- Shelby, does have nice eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get a coffee, black, and a turkey sandwich. Thanks.” Shelby nods and walks back toward the kitchen. Toni just notices the southern lilt of an accent on Shelby’s tongue. Texan, Toni guesses. Toni also notices the red bow still in her hair and silently mocks it. She’d never admit she thinks it looks kinda cute. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni shakes her head at herself. She’s leaving ‘Boonville’ and devoting herself to serving the country, not because she’s patriotic or some shit like that, because she has nothing else to do and nothing keeping her from doing it. Toni suddenly feels an urge to talk to Shelby, the last interaction with non-military enthusiasts, with someone her own age, a female her own age. She doubted many girls were joining the army right out of high school. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby saunters over with a sandwich and a steaming mug. In a moment of bravery Toni clears her throat and asks Shelby- “Hey, do you, uh, wanna sit down? For a bit?” Shelby grins, dimples popping. “I mean, uh, only if you want to. I just-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would, really, but if I take another break my boss will fire me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Toni tries to hide her dejection, “Sorry to bother you then. Um, thanks for the food.” Toni looks down at her plate and starts picking at the lettuce. Noticing there were still legs standing at the side of the table, Toni looks back up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m off in 20, I know a place we can go.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Secret Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shelby takes Toni to her secret hideout and they talk.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After 20 minutes of nervously nibbling her sandwich and nursing a steaming mug, Toni sees Shelby coming out of the kitchen with a purse in her hand and a jacket hanging off her shoulder. Ponytail swinging, she makes her way over to Toni with her eyes looking down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once at the table Shelby leans over, “Ready… um”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni realizes she never introduced herself to the waitress. “Shit, sorry, I’m Toni, Shalifoe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The corners of Shelby’s mouth rise in a half smile, “Shelby Goodkind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Toni nods, then stands and throws some cash on the table to pay for her food. Shelby smirks and they stand there for a moment looking at each other before Shelby starts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, this way.” She turns and heads out the diner, looking over her shoulder to make sure Toni was following. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really hope you’re not luring me somewhere secret to kill me,” Toni jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I may not be a murderer but I like to consider the place where we're going as my secret hideout.” Shelby inwardly flinches, that sounded a lot more childish than she meant to. Toni just chuckles and they walk the rest of the way in silence. Shelby leads them behind the diner, then down a path and into a forest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni watches Shelby’s blonde ponytail swinging in front of her, mesmerizing in the golden rays of a sinking sun. The bow was still tied, as pristine and perfect as Shelby’s posture. Toni is so lost in her thoughts she almost runs into the other girl’s back when she stops abruptly. “We’re here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni steps around Shelby and looks at her surroundings. They’ve reached the edge of a large pond that stretches out towards a few houses in the distance. There’s a small clearing where Shelby has set up a sort of habitat. In a large tree she has built a treehouse, all Toni could see from the outside was a large wooden box and a ladder. On the ground were remnants of a fire, coal dust and a circle of rocks pitted in a patch of dirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You live here?” Toni asks, not meaning to offend, after all who was she to judge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh heavens no,” Shelby laughs, “No, I live with my parents a few streets away. I built this place because I find it, calming, and alone. Sometimes my friends can be a bit much so it’s nice to have somewhere no one else knows about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni warms at the thought that she’s the first person Shelby’s shown this place, though she didn’t understand why. “Why show me then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Few reasons. Based on what you’re carrying around I assume you won’t be in Boonville long enough to pose any threat, you don’t know my friends or my family, and you seem like the kind of gal that’d respect someone’s secret place.” As soon as she said it her cheeks turned red, “I mean-, you know-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni stood watching, a bemused smirk on her face, and winked before starting to climb the ladder. “Whatcha got up here?” she asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right yea check it out.” Shelby follows Toni into the treehouse, where Toni enters to find a cozy little space. There’s a ratty couch on the side closest to the trunk of the tree, a bin with a deck of cards and some other games, a stack of books in the corner and a mirror. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni points to it. “Tacky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby rolls her eyes and flops on one end of the couch, gesturing for Toni to sit on the other corner. Toni obliges, swinging one leg up so she’s facing the blonde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s up with the accent? Doesn’t sound like you’re from Missouri.” Toni starts, playing with her shoelaces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Moved here from Texas about a year ago now, I had some pageant opportunities and my brother got a scholarship to go to school here so we figured it was easier to just move.” Shelby explains in her southern drawl, which Toni finds is distracting yet she can’t get enough. “What about you, runaway?” She jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Close,” Toni says, shifting her eyes to look out the window at the sun setting over the pond. Orange light streams in and paints the room in a warm, low tone. “Foster kid, just turned 18 and got recruited for the army. Got no other options so I’m heading to Fort Leonard Wood to start training on Monday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby looks like she wants more information but doesn’t press. “Shit, the army huh, well, I thank you in advance for your service,” and does an awkward salute. The girls giggle and sigh, which is when Toni asks what time it is. Shelby looks at her watch, “10 after 7, you have somewhere to be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes. The bus. Ten minutes ago, except Toni doesn’t seem to mind that she missed the bus. “Nah, just wondering.” A silence settles. Shelby doesn’t say anything because she can see the gears turning in Toni’s head. “Hey uh, I have a question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shoot,” Shelby gives her an encouraging look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I know we just met and all, and you probably have a boyfriend. Sorry I don’t know why that’s relevant, anyway um. I don’t have anyone I’m close to at home, and sometimes writing helps me sort things out.” Toni pauses, waiting for a response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry I’m not following,” Shelby squints in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I write to you? From the base, just sometimes, so that I know I’m not invisible, that I have some connection to the outside world. Sorry that sounds stupid.” Toni huffs and turns away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s not stupid, of course you can write to me. Maybe if you’re lucky I’ll write back,” she winks. Toni lets out a sigh of relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool, where should I send them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, let me give you my address.” Shelby picks up her purse and digs around before pulling out her waitress notebook and a pen. She scrawls an address and rips off the page, handing it to Toni. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni tucks it carefully in a pocket of her backpack and smiles to herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next half hour is spent talking about random stuff, Toni’s basketball games, Shelby’s boyfriend (who Shelby insists is a great guy yet for some reason the name ‘Andrew’ turns Toni’s stomach), their shared fondness of late night movies and junk food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like is it so hard to take a girl on a fun date? Not all of us want to do it behind the bathroom at an amusement park, or secretly make out in the movie theatre, or any of that crap. Take me out stargazing, or read an old book next to me by a fireplace, or a walk through an abandoned town.” Shelby rants, a little out of breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn and here I was thinking you were shallow, but you have taste!” Toni says. She doesn’t say that she had taken Reagan on some of those dates but the other girl hadn’t appreciated them the way she thought Shelby would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha very funny. One day Andrew will realize what I want and see that he’ll want it too, a real close relationship.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni frowns and changes the topic by asking the time again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit I gotta catch the bus.” She jumps up and gathers her backpack, checking that the slip with Shelby’s address was still there. As Toni scrambles down the ladder, Shelby follows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At night? Will you be okay? Do you want me to drive you?” Shelby seems genuinely concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine,” Toni says as she jogs back the way they came, Shelby still behind her. Toni grabs her suitcase from the back of her truck and heads across the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about your truck?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Piece of shit’s dead, you can have it if you want.” Toni reaches the bus stop just as it turns onto the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay. Um, bye Toni.” She looks like she wants to say more but holds back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll write,” Toni gestures to the paper in her bag. With one final shared look, Toni climbs the steps onto the bus. Shelby watches her go, not understanding the newly formed pit in her stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could a girl she’s known a few hours have such an effect on her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby starts to walk slowly back towards the diner and her car. On the way she passes Toni’s truck, the only reminder that the afternoon, and the girl she shared it with, was real.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you've read this far, thank you for your time! I hope you like the story so far :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Processing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni prepares to be shipped to training.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is more of a technical chapter, however I watched lots of army videos for research so some of this is accurate.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Toni stares out the window of the bus, watching as the scenery turns from shops and bakeries, to quaint pastel houses with white picket fences, to barren farmland. She can’t take her mind off the girl with the bow in her hair, a smooth blonde waterfall swinging back and forth, those soft eyes and smile that said she was listening like no one had before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After two hours sitting on the bus, Toni gets off at a large building used for collecting and sorting recruits- the Military Entrance Processing Station- before sending them to the base. She’s early but it beats staying in her hellhole of a foster home one more night. As she steps into the cool night air, dragging her suitcase along the sidewalk, she finds a nearby bench to sleep on. The night is eerily quiet, and Toni finds it difficult to fall asleep. For a while she stares up at the sky, finding peace in the fact that she’s minuscule in comparison and that her life doesn’t really matter in the long run. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great attitude to be entering the army with</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually she gets a few hours of rest and awakes to the sun rising and people starting to file into the centre. She gets some weird looks, lying on the bench with her arm tucked under her head. Toni sits up and stretches out the kinks in her muscles, yawning into the cool fog of the morning. While the recruiter Toni talked with while in high school set everything else up, Toni denied the free accommodations provided by the military. Granted, she thought she could spend one last night in her familiar truck but she doesn’t regret her night under the stars. After all, what if she took the accommodations and ended up on a different route, and her truck broke down somewhere else or not at all. She wouldn’t have met Shelby, and she wasn’t willing to trade her afternoon in the treehouse for one night in a hotel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waits about twenty minutes for the people inside to get settled and heads in after running a brush through her hair and popping a mint. Just as before, the place was immaculately organized. The employees were impressed with her early punctuality, as evident from the wide eyes and friendly smiles. They’re different from the ones that greeted her on the initial processing day a few months back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On her first trip they took Toni to an area where she filled out some medical forms, breathed into a breathalyzer, took a blood and urine test as well as a pregnancy test </span>
  <em>
    <span>as if there were any chance in hell she was pregnant</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Then came the hearing exam, eye exam and weight check which Toni passed with flying colours. If nothing else went right in her life, she couldn’t complain much about her body. Then came a lot of waiting and eventually an interview to make sure she wasn’t a felon, an addict or an out of shape loser.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Afterwards, she was taken into an exam room and had a physical from a female doctor, then she was herded into a group of female recruits and led into a large room. The recruits performed balance exercises and other activities while stern looking people watched intensely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni briefly caught the eye of an observer and held back a sneer. She’d really need to keep her attitude in check, especially since she’d been told on multiple occasions that she has a resting bitch face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ripped from her flashback, Toni sits in the same waiting room as before, all the recruits were put into an area and are being called out one by one for final signings and such. No one was talking, just some rustling through their bags for a book or something to fiddle with. Toni slowly follows suit, but instead of a book she pulls out the slip of paper Shelby wrote her address on. For the next hour she analyzes the elegant way she curves the tips of the letter ‘Y’, the smooth transition from letter to letter. She memorizes every contour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s broken out of her trance by a gruff voice calling her name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni follows the large bearded man into a small office, peering into adjoining waiting rooms along the way. She saw parents and boyfriends and girlfriends, patiently waiting to watch their loved one take the oath. Toni didn’t see the big deal, it was just saying a few stupid words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waits for the order to sit. Then a recruiter came in and sat on the other side of the desk in front of Toni. Basically they just wanted to know if anything changed since last time, then made sure she knew she was signing her life away for at least the next 4 years. Toni signed on the dotted line without a second thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that Toni had a lot more time to contemplate her life choices and crap before taking the stupid oath and prepping for shipment. </span>
</p><p><span>The recruits had to swear in in the auditorium, where the audience was packed with people cheering. Toni knew it was dumb but she couldn’t stop herself from imagining a certain blonde head in there with eyes only for her. </span><span><br/></span> <span>She won’t lie, it was a bit embarrassing standing up there and taking the oath with no one particularly caring. Screw that she didn’t need anyone. </span></p><p>
  <span>After taking the oath, a woman with a tight bun instructed a group of about 30 recruits, including Toni, that they leave in 30 minutes. “Be outside of the MEPS building to catch the shuttle. Don’t be late or you’re disqualified. Take this time to say goodbye as you won’t be seeing your family for a few months.” Her voice sounded practiced and disciplined, her face betrayed no emotion at all. Toni only hoped hers was a reflection, she wouldn’t show any disappointment or remorse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the army.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>Shelby was on break with Andrew and her friends behind the diner the day following her encounter with the mysterious Toni Shalifoe. She found herself staring at the other girl’s truck, still in the parking lot. For some reason she thought it might magically disappear in the middle of the night, taking any evidence of her night with Toni with it, but here it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Babe… babe did you hear me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby tears her gaze away from the vehicle and looks at Andrew, who must have said something inherently funny because everyone was looking at her with amused smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, what did you say?” She asks, kind of annoyed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it, what’s so interesting over there? It is abandoned? Yo we should take the tires, or graffiti it, ooh smash the windows and see what’s inside!” Shelby’s friends were getting excited at the possibility of having some (illegal) fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, stop! What is wrong with you guys that’s someone’s property.” Shelby huffs. She wouldn’t let anyone take it, not if she had something to say about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chill out we’re just sayin’ if nobody comes back to claim it we might as well have a little fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no it’s uh, it’s mine. I bought it. It’s broken so my dad’s coming to tow it to my house later. Don’t touch it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Possessive, that’s hot,” Andrew winks at her and tries to pull her into a kiss. Shelby, frustrated, ducks out of his embrace and pushes open the door with more force than necessary, walking through without looking back.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. In-processing and Discoveries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni reaches the army base and blends in with her fellow recruits as she's introduced to the place. Shelby takes Toni's truck home.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for all the comments! They really are motivating and seriously make my day :)</p><p>I watched a lot of army videos and read websites so I hope a lot of this is accurate! Again this is more of a technical chapter but I promise more Shoni is coming.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS DRILL SERGEANT. NOT SIR, NOT SIR DRILL SERGEANT, DRILL SERGEANT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“YES DRILL SERGEANT” </span>
</p><p><span>A stocky man with a stenson type hat stands at the front of the bus, screaming instructions at them. “FEMALES WILL LINE UP ON THE LEFT VERTICAL LINE, MALES ON THE RIGHT VERTICAL LINE. YOUR HEELS WILL BE TOGETHER ON THE LINE AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE. YOUR PAPERWORK WILL BE IN YOUR LEFT HAND, YOUR BAG IN YOUR RIGHT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“YES DRILL SERGEANT.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Toni yells the response loud, just as her recruitment officer told her to do. The nice woman had taken Toni under her wing, and though they never really bonded Toni felt respect and admiration towards her. The woman gave her inside details on how to survive basic training, and from the way she described it, training would be no cake walk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trainees began filing out of the bus in an orderly manner, splitting to the left or right once disembarking. Of the 30 recruits, only 7 were female. Already she could tell two of the others wouldn’t last long. Toni took the front of the line, walking with her shoulders back and her head high. She faced forward and waited as the others scrambled to get organized. They were currently under a landing in the front of the building, it was bland concrete. The air was dry and there was no wind, as if it was afraid of disturbing the Drill Sergeants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before getting on the bus, Toni had thrown out everything unimportant and transferred anything left to her backpack. She tossed the suitcase, wouldn’t be needing that anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She forced herself not to look back at the bus starting to pull away. This was it. Toni wondered what the bus drivers were thinking. Probably something along the lines of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good luck, </span>
  </em>
  <span>or, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you have no idea what you’re in for</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Drill Sgts yelled at them for a few minutes and gave them instructions on where to put their bags, different commands and positions, then made them do push ups for 2 minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni felt the adrenaline pumping through her arms, up, down, up, down, over and over again. She watched as the sergeants yelled at those who dropped to the floor, those who broke position. Toni focused on her breathing, where she was putting her weight, anything but the boots right in front of her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t draw attention. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The boots walked away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“STOP”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone returned to push up position while the Drill Sgt insulted them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After more yelling, they filed into a classroom inside the building. On the way, Toni noticed other commanders watching them. It seemed to look like a really large version of her high school, the same bricks, concrete pillars and the feeling that life was being sucked out of you. Once in the classroom they were directed into rows of tables, kind of like a university lecture room. Toni, being the first, ended up on the far right. She stood straight as a rod, eyes staring blankly ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bags under the table, open all your paperwork.” Toni did so, and the Sergeant began looking through it, taking what he needed, then moved on to the next person. Toni's heart was racing, but she was excited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More instructions, then they were given platoon numbers and taken to a room that reminded Toni of a musty gym. They were instructed to dump the contents of their bag, then one by one go through materials to throw out or confiscate. No drugs. No alcohol. No pointy things. No scented things other than shower supplies. They were allowed to keep anything made of paper, and any clothing items once shaken out. She made sure the little slip of paper was safe before putting her bag in front of all her items.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni didn’t bring much because her recruiter told her everything that would be taken. Toni sifted through her materials, and a sense of panic set in, where was her journal? Surely she’d taken it out of the glove compartment… shit. Shit. She could feel the anxiety and anger building up. That journal was the closest thing to a best friend she had. She wrote everything in there, not much of it was ‘juicy gossip’ but it was her essence. Shit. She was so paranoid that she missed the command to stand attention, scrambling to follow suit when she realized what was happening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She caught the disapproving glare of the Drill sgt. Shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However he went on yelling and what not, Toni breathed a sigh of relief. This could not happen again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a lot of waiting in line, getting her sweats and laundry bag, she was assigned a temporary barrack with her platoon. As soon as they walked in the barrack they were ordered out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT SINGLE. FILE. LINE”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sounds like every single teacher in elementary school.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few more tries they were allowed to stay. They had 5 minutes to change into their sweats and put their bag away before going to chow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got a whole 7 minutes to get their food, sit down, eat it, and be ready to leave. Good thing Toni was used to not eating a whole lot, though she would miss juicy burgers and fries from the local fast food joint near her house. Her mouth waters just thinking about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they got back to the barrack it was 9, which meant lights out, no talking. The DI (drill instructor) slept in her office adjoined to the barrack so they couldn’t break any rules at all. Throughout the day Toni had watched her fellow female recruits. Most seemed capable of surviving training, athletes and naturally tall women who seemed motivated and proud. Toni, being on the short side, didn’t let it intimidate her. Toni knew who she was, knew her strength, knew her capabilities. Maybe she could find some friends here, but she wouldn’t go looking yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she got assigned to her permanent platoon, then she’d make an effort. Until then, lie low, make a good impression, follow all instructions without comment.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>At the end of the day, Shelby came home from work to find that her dad had already towed the crappy red pickup onto their property. She walked in the door and kissed him on the cheek, a formality, and sat in front of him in the kitchen where he was sipping coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you got that piece of trash for, I doubt it’ll run.” He looked up from the paper to stare questioningly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just thought it’d be a cool project.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dad shrugs and goes back to reading. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Curiosity starts bubbling up in Shelby’s stomach. Toni said it was hers if she wanted, right? Shelby stands up and walks out the door, yelling that she’s going on a walk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The waitress approached the truck the way one approaches a frightened cat, like it might scratch you if you make the wrong move. Why was she so nervous? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once she realized Toni never gave her the keys, she found a way to Jimmy the driver’s door open. Instantly she got a whiff of spicy packaged chips, takis? One look in the back seat was all the proof she needed that Toni was a Taki addict. She shook her head and began to explore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was some loose change and a soda can in the cupholder, some more wrappers on the floor, insurance and ownership papers stuffed under a seat. Shelby rolls her eyes. How is someone so disorganized going to the military? It made her laugh, and just thinking about the quirky brunette made Shelby smile. She wouldn’t admit it, but she couldn’t wait to get a letter from this girl, to learn more about her, to get more evidence that she’s not just a ghost who left a truck in a diner parking lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby feels around some more and opens a glove box, revealing a leather bound book. Now what was this?</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First letter coming in next chapter :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. First Letter and Journals</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni writes her first letter to Shelby after a few weeks at the army base. Shelby discovers things about Toni while going through her journal.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW Mentions of self-harm, suicide, dark thoughts</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dear Shelby,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s been two weeks since I got to camp and man have I been busy. The first thing they made us do was push ups, classic right. We got our uniforms and dog tags which are pretty cool, some sweats and a laundry bag. After the first week of processing we were put into our permanent barracks, which was fine because I hadn’t made any friends yet- we didn’t have time to talk to anyone because from 5am to 9pm every day we were busy filling out forms, running and getting yelled at. We get 7 minutes to eat at chow time, sometimes they don’t give us breakfast! And half of that is taken up by waiting in line. The food isn't terrible but I would KILL for an In’N’Out burger. This is definitely an adjustment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls in my barrack are nice enough, we get an hour in the evening for free time which we’ve spent working out and getting to know each other. We get the most free time on Sunday, which is when I’m writing this letter. As lame as writing letters is, it’s some connection to the outside world. I feel so disconnected in here, especially since I lost my phone privileges for the first week . Before you roll your eyes let me explain. This punky man-boy came up to me and told me that girls don’t belong in the army. Jerk, right. You have no idea the strength it took not to punch his face in. Instead I </span>
  <em>
    <span>politely</span>
  </em>
  <span> requested a push up battle, cause guys are always so eager to show off their strength.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anywho long story short I outlasted him and, being the poor sport he is, stepped on my hand while I was still going so I told him to fuck off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately my DI, Gretchen Klein (Doesn’t that name just want to make you puke) overheard and I got in trouble. Ugh. Not that I would call anyone anyway I just don’t like being told what to do. I know, I know, I joined the army. I’m dealing with it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the plus side I didn’t have to cut my hair off, I just have to wear it so tight it feels like my face is being pulled off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What else…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of my bunkies is from Texas- Dot, her accent reminds me of you, even though we’ve only met once it’s stuck in my head. Anyway she’s my ‘battle buddy’, a term they use to name partners that have to go everywhere together. Seriously it’s like I’m back in elementary school. Superiors are constantly yelling, we need a buddy to go to the bathroom, everywhere we go is in a single file line, and if we mess it up they make us leave and try it again. It even looks like a school, the same bricks and dull colours, adults watching you. There are even lines painted on the ground that we have to follow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This letter is getting long and it’s lights out soon so I’ll wrap this up. I’ll have a return address in a few weeks so you can send me letters back. Hope everything’s good on your end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Shelby stayed up all night flipping through the pages of Toni’s journal. She had a feeling Toni didn’t like the term diary, which was proven right when the first page read “Toni’s Journal. Do Not Read.” In simple block print, centred in the page. How could a person so complex be so simple, Shelby was intrigued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next page was an entry dated about a year and a half ago. It read- “My therapist gave me this stupid book to write my feelings in.” Followed by “my therapist doesn’t approve of that sentence so she’s making me write something else, as if I could write out all my feelings. God people are idiots.” Shelby laughed to herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next page got a little more personal. “Because no one is ever going to read this and no one likes talking to me I guess I’ll write. There’s a cute girl in the band, I felt her watching me during my basketball game, but I get so nervous around her which is dumb because I know who I am and what I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby pauses. Toni… likes girls? She couldn’t tell if the flutter in her stomach was a good feeling or not. The cross on her wall was staring at her, boring into her soul. Shelby shut the book. This was Toni, she didn’t have the right to read it. She slipped the book under her bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>2 hours later Shelby couldn’t sleep. She pulled the book from under her bed and guiltily opened it back up. The next few pages detailed Toni’s relationship with Reagan, which seemed normal until the page with a sketch of a broken window. The writing on that page was written with such force it ripped the page in some spots, and she thought there may have even been tear stains. Shelby’s heart yearned for Toni, there was no entry detailing what happened between the two, only some swear words and phrases like “why am I even here.” Shelby had been through breakups before, but none as seemingly painful as the one Toni has put onto paper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few pages later- “Some guy came to the school today and watched me at basketball practice. Then he took me in a room and asked if I’d like to join the army. I said yes, get me as far away from this place as possible, this place that has given me nothing but misery. Seriously, why not, nothing’s holding me back here. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get shot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit. Shelby closed the book for a moment. She put her head in her hands and bit her lip. Somehow this girl she barely knows has gotten into her head, and more than anything all Shelby wanted to do was give her a hug. Shelby knew the consequences of thoughts like these. The single most horrible thing she’s been through, and it’s her fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Becca’s death, she didn’t tell Toni, was one of the main reasons Shelby was so eager to leave Texas, it was too hard for Shelby to be reminded of what she did which was selfish she knows but the only thing that would help her was a fresh start. As she reads she is painfully reminded of what Becca must have been feeling, and the guilt and regret washed over Shelby in tidal waves. She shut the book and tucked it away in her bedside drawer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tonight has only made Shelby feel more connected to the army girl and  she couldn’t help but hope for a letter soon.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks everyone for your comments and kudos! I'm so glad you're enjoying</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The First Letter Arrives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shelby receives her first letter from Toni, meanwhile Toni writes a second.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I realize it may be confusing with the timing so- letters take about 7-14 days to mail but for the sake of the story I'll keep it to about a week. Once Shelby starts writing back it'll be more straightforward- back and forth. For now try to stick with me :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>One week later</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shelby rushes home from work Monday afternoon and checks the mailbox, like she does every day. As always, she takes the stack of envelopes and flips through them, looking for the now familiar handwriting, as Shelby had memorized Toni’s writing from the journal. She almost flips past the one piece of paper she’d been waiting for. The envelope is crisp and white, cleanly sealed and stamped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She forced herself to wait until she got home to open it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walks through the front door, still staring at the slightly messy ‘Shelby Goodkind’ written in the centre, followed by her address. There’s no name in the corner or return address but she knows. As Shelby walks into the kitchen to drop the rest of the mail she almost runs into her dad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey dad, didn’t see ya there.” She breaks her stare away from the letter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got your mind on something? What’s that?” He asks, pointing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A letter, from my friend in the army”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?” Dave Goodkind was a nice man who only wanted the best for his family, but he sometimes came across as passive aggressive. Shelby could feel a talk (lecture) coming on. Reluctantly she responded, she couldn’t lie to her dad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a boy or a girl?” He squints. Shelby huffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does if it’s a boy. Andrew’s growing to be a handsome, wealthy man with good family values. I’d hate if you parted from him for someone who’ll probably be dead in a year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad!” Shelby yells, astonished. How could he say something so horrible? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? You shouldn’t spend your time waiting around for a boy that’s never home, can’t provide, won’t be there for your kids, wo-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh dad stop. Toni’s a girl.” Shelby rolls her eyes and turns away to head to her room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just looking out for you honey.” He calls after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby has tears glistening in her eyes as she slams her bedroom door behind her, leaning back, clutching the letter to her chest. What if her dad was right? What if everyone around her ended up hurt or dead and she had to deal with those feelings all over again. The war in her head was interrupted by a surge of curiosity and excitement, remembering that Toni wrote to her, actually wrote to her. This was a note from the other side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby sat down at her desk and carefully ripped the envelope open. Her eyes scanned the page, this was written last sunday. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would KILL for an In’N’Out burger</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby smiles wide, conversation with her dad forgotten as she lets Toni take her through the military base and activities, riddled with sarcastic comments and humour. As she reads about the fight Toni got in Shelby playfully rolls her eyes, and as if they’ve been friends forever it’s magic that Toni’s next sentence was ‘Before you roll your eyes.’ That makes Shelby smile even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She scans the part about Toni’s new battle buddy and thinks back to Texas, she vaguely remembers a clever girl named Dot from her school, wondering if it’s the same one. The Dot she knows used to sell drugs until her father died, maybe she decided to join the army once she had no family left. That just made Shelby sad so she focuses on the last sentence. She’ll get a return address soon, so she can write back. What will she write about?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, I took your truck, rooted through your possessions and read your journal that says do not read. I know all about your first heartbreak and harmful thoughts. Please don’t get shot. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> <span>Shelby scoffs at herself, yet she can’t wait to be able to communicate back.</span></p><p>
  <span>She carefully tucks the letter back in the envelope and places it in an empty box in her drawer. She already knew this friendship was something special, and regardless how long it lasts, if they grow apart, she would keep these letters forever. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on Shalifoe, I want to squeeze in a workout before lights out!” Dot complains to Toni.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll only be a minute dude.” Toni goes into the mail room and hands an envelope to the attendant currently on the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The letter reads:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shelby,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Week 2 was kind of boring. After all the excitement of processing week and week 1 of training, being stuck in a classroom sucked the life out of me. Like 8 hours of looking at maps and compasses. I just… want to be out there you know? In the middle of it all- the rush, the excitement. The only fun part of this week was unarmed combat. I’m sure I impressed DI Klein, I got everyone I faced to tap out so I may have made some enemies but who cares, when you’re out there you’re a team, no matter what. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To be totally honest I wouldn’t jump in front of a bullet for some of these guys, they’re not worth it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My platoon on the other hand, they’re worth it. Dot and I are talking more, maybe even becoming friends. We have to go everywhere together so I guess it’s natural. We don’t talk much about our life before the army, just that we were both alone and out of options. I think that helped us ‘bond.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Other than that not much has happened. The food still sucks, the DI is mean but fair. One nice thing about being in the middle of nowhere is that the stars are so bright, so clear that I could get lost staring at them. Seriously Shelby, it’s so beautiful. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>People are already getting letters, even though we got our returns a few days ago. They all have pictures of their girlfriends and parents. Gross, so sentimental. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not gonna lie, it feels a little weird writing to you when I don’t even know if you care or if you just said yes to entertain a lonely girl doomed to die on a battlefield, or cause you’re a good little christain girl thinking you can use this on a youth sermon or a college application or something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If I’m being crazy and you actually care, here’s the return address</span>
  </em>
</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <span>Private Toni Shalifoe</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>UNIT 109 PLT 19</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Fort Leonard Wood, MO 65473</span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just make sure you use a plain envelope. No stickers or glitter or shit, not that I think you’d do that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you… don’t want to keep this up I don’t blame you, I’m pretty boring. Just don’t respond to this and I’ll know.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Toni</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See, quick.” Toni smirks at Dot, jogging to catch up as they head towards the barrack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Writing to your girlfriend Shalifoe? Didn’t peg you as a romantic.” Dot smirks back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s not my girlfriend. She’s probably forgotten me by now.” Toni shakes her head to clear her thoughts. “Got your eye on anyone Campbell?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I don’t need anyone. I’m a lone wolf.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t lie to me I see the way you look at Mateo over in platoon 56,” Toni chuckles, breathing the cool night air into her lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot looks at her. “Shut up.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Shelby Writes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shelby reads Toni's second letter and writes back. On the other side, Toni waits.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>To everyone who's read, commented and/or left kudos, thank you so much! It really turns my day around. Here's a bit of a longer chapter, I hope you like :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>1 Week Later.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shelby, letter for you.” Her dad calls from the kitchen. A flash of blonde hair races down the stairs and heads toward the voice. Shelby tries to calm herself before entering the kitchen to avoid betraying her excitement. She smiles at her dad and holds out her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dad hesitates for a moment. “Well, can I have the letter?” She asks expectantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who is this girl anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my goodness dad can I just have the letter please.” She huffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I read it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” He forks it over reluctantly. “Will you at least tell me about her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you care, she’s just a friend,” yet somehow that term made her stomach turn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m interested in your friends honey, I just want to know who you’re talking to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby, albeit annoyed, appreciates her father’s interest in her life. She’s always been close to her dad but recently she’s been pulling away, retreating into herself like she did after Becca. He didn’t understand the extent of Shelby’s grief but he knew it hit her hard, after all losing a best friend like that wasn’t something one got over quickly. He had to pull her back before he lost her permanently, last time it took moving to a different state. He didn’t know what to do this time but make an effort to connect with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over dinner,” She said before running up to her room and opening the letter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby held her breath as she started to read, her heart falling reading about how Toni wanted to get out in the middle of the excitement. Though she understood the drive to get out of the classroom and into the world, she was worried about Toni’s intentions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She chuckled, some of her faith was restored when she said she wouldn’t jump in front of a bullet for some of these guys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though Shelby was glad Toni was making friends, she couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous that Dot got to spend all this time with her. What if Toni forgot about her and confided in Dot instead? Shaking her head, she continues reading. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The part about Toni looking at the stars is so genuine, so simple and… easy. She let herself imagine Toni staring up at the sky, alone in the field, thinking about nothing. Her face was free from pain, anger, her difficult past. She was… content. That’s all Shelby wanted for her, and she was glad to even imagine a glimpse. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seriously Shelby, it’s so beautiful. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A wave of warmth washes over her, the sentence was so personal. She was speaking directly to Shelby, such a simple sentence but it was the one that would stick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the letter made Shelby laugh, then feel sad. Why would Toni think she was uninterested? She thought if anything Toni might not be interested. She won’t lie, the part where Toni accused her of doing this for church credit or something hurt. None of that had even crossed her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She chuckles at Toni’s antics about the glitter, but the doubt emanating from Toni’s words made her feel guilty for not writing sooner, even if it was literally impossible for her to get a letter to the base. After reading over the letter again, Shelby gets to work. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seriously Shelby, it’s so beautiful.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>At first she just sits at her desk, pencil to her temple and a blank sheet of paper in front of her. This was like every homework assignment she’s ever done. Gosh why was she treating this like work? </span>
  <em>
    <span>There are no expectations, just, write what you feel. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I feel like I’ve known you forever but at the same time I don’t know you at all. I want to know you. I feel this connection but I don’t know if it’s real or my imagination, hoping for a real friend in my life of lies, which I haven’t told you about by the way.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Urg. She couldn’t write that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <span>Toni, </span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <span>Of course I’ll write back, I’m your person now, remember? </span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>
  <em>
    <span>That doesn’t sound desperate at all</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <span>Toni,</span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <span>I’m kind of hurt that you thought I’d do this for charity. I know you don’t know me very well yet but maybe we can change that. I’ve really enjoyed getting your letters so far, getting a glimpse of your army life. I’m learning a lot. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I knew a girl named Dot at my school back in Texas, maybe it’s the same girl? Wouldn’t that be a coincidence. I’m happy for you, that you’re making friends and settling in. I know how it feels to be in a new situation, I only wish I could be there with you. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I get what you mean that it’s a little awkward, I wish I could have written sooner, and that the letters were delivered faster. For now this is all we have though, so I’ll take it. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I’ll have you know I had to seriously fight the urge to colour the envelope bright yellow and draw swirls in glitter glue. I’m a sparkly person most of the time, I decorate everything. My bedroom is pink and I have those glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. I have corny life mottos on signs around my room and fairy lights around my window. If that doesn’t express how much I wanted to decorate this envelope I don’t know what to say.</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I can’t believe they only give you seven minutes to eat, as a foodie I need to savour every bite. That sounded a bit weird, you know what I mean. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Already getting in fights eh, those guys sound like jerks. I’m glad you showed them off, I wouldn’t have had the courage. My boyfriend said some stuff the other day that pissed me off, I told him it was wrong but he just treated me like, well, his girlfriend. HIS girlfriend, not like a person, but someone he can dismiss with a wave of his hand. It makes me so angry sometimes, but like my father says Andrew will be good for my future and what not. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I’m honestly just writing anything that comes to mind.</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>My dad’s taken an interest in you, at first he thought you were some guy I was wasting my time on, now he just says he’s interested in my life and why I wait by the mailbox for letters from a girl I met once. I just tell him he doesn’t understand and he agrees.</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I don’t know why you’d ever think you were boring, so far you’re the most interesting person I’ve met. Troubled past, off to join the army, if anything I’m the boring one. A waitress in a small town who does pageants and goes to church. No one would watch a movie about me, but you’re something else Toni.</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>What you said about the stars, I can only imagine the freedom you must feel, looking up and getting lost in the sky. Here we see them sometimes, but a lot is blocked by clouds or light pollution. I took an astronomy class in high school and I would have loved to put my knowledge to use but alas, it was not meant to be. That was cheesy but I don’t really care. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I have to go for dinner now, so I guess I’ll wrap this up. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Listen to me when I say I really do enjoy getting your letters, I only hope mine give you the same feeling. Here’s my phone number, we only have a landline so someone else might pick up. Your schedule’s more strict than mine so it might not work but incase you want to try, (and you don’t keep losing your phone privileges), it’s here. I know I’m not your girlfriend or your parent but here’s a picture of me anyway, to remind you that you have someone on the outside rooting for you. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Hope to hear from you soon, </span>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <span>Shelby </span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shelby reads over her letter. Satisfied, she folds it and tucks in a picture she took on a polaroid last year of her in the forest, back against a tree and the water in the background. As instructed, she places the letter in a plain white envelope and neatly writes Toni’s address and her own name in the top corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning she almost runs to the post office to send it away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>1 Week Later</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing from your girl yet Shalifoe?” Dot says in between running suicides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni rolls her eyes as she blushes. “She’s not my girl. And she probably hasn’t gotten mine yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni wouldn’t admit that what she was really worried about was that Shelby had received her letter and decided not to respond. She didn’t want to entertain those thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, maybe.” Dot concedes, filing away the look on Toni’s face to ask about later. For now though, Toni picks up her pace and gains a lead on Dot, 2 suicide lines ahead. “Hey!” She calls playfully and speeds up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once finished, towels wiping the sweat from their necks, Dot puts her hand on Toni’s shoulder and looks at her sincerely. “She’ll write.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The Next Day</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mail call, Shalifoe you’ve got one, Dixon…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot winks at Toni, who is shyly beaming as she goes to retrieve her letter.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Dot Ships it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dot bugs Toni about having a crush, and convinces her to invite Shelby to family day</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'all are so sweet I love you :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sun sets over Fort Leonard as Toni and her platoon head back to their barrack. Toni clutches the letter tightly against her chest, ignoring the look from Dot. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She wrote.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Curiosity was killing her from the inside out, she couldn’t get in the door fast enough. Toni hops up on her top bunk, above Dot who pokes her head up to watch Toni rip the envelope open. Toni doesn’t notice the small picture that slips off the bed and flutters to the floor. Dot picks it up and widens her eyes but doesn’t say anything yet, she doesn’t want to interrupt the pure smile on Toni’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she frowns. “Hey Dot,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot raises her eyebrow, hiding the picture out of Toni’s site. “Yea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know a girl named Shelby Goodkind?” Toni asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, we went to high school together.” Dot says nonchalantly. Toni smacks her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude! Why didn’t you say something!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot scampers back and laughs, “I didn’t know your Shelby was the same one! I swear. That’s hilarious, she ended up in Missouri?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So did you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair point.” Dot doesn’t miss how Toni didn’t comment on the possessive pronoun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After I read this letter you’re telling me everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, but there’s not that much to tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me everything.” Toni insists and goes back to reading.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I only wish I could be there with you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Toni wished the same. As the tone of the letter gets lighter and Shelby gets more sarcastic, Toni chuckles aloud, smiling wide. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then a flare of anger as Shelby recounts how her boyfriend treated her. Andrew didn’t deserve her. Scanning through, a sentence catches. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wait by the mailbox for letters from a girl I met once. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She waits for her letters? A blush creeps up on Toni’s cheeks and Dot notices. “Whatcha blushing at Shalifoe?” She says with a smirk</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni relishes the rest of the letter, Shelby saying she loves the stars too, saying she cherishes her letters and hopes Toni feels the same way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot watches as Toni turns the letter around, backwards, looking in the envelope and around her bed. “Looking for this?” Dot says, holding up the polaroid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni (carefully) snatches the picture out of Dot’s hand and holds it up to the light. In the picture, Shelby is in her spot in the forest, pond sparkling in the midday sun. She leans against a tree, looking right into the camera with the most genuine smile Toni’s seen. Faint dimples crease Shelby’s cheeks as light plays off her forehead, eyes slightly squinted. God her eyes. She doesn’t notice Dot creeping up on her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got it bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This startles Toni back to reality. “I do not. I’ve met her once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gonna call her? She gave you her number.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re both really busy, maybe I’ll try but I’m not expecting anyone to pick up.” The thought of hearing Shelby’s voice instead of just reading her words in neat writing made Toni excited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were looking at the picture with hearts pouring out of your eyes.” Dot points accusingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was not” Toni shoves her away. “Now tell me what you know about her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot laughs, “You just hit me! Why should I tell you anything?” Toni stares at her intensely. Dot stares back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a minute of this nonsense Dot sighs and climbs up on Toni’s bunk. “I don’t know much alright, we were on opposite sides of the social environment. She was popular and pretty and smart, all the guys were in love with her, the teachers praised her. God she was a fucking goody two shoes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni raises a half-smile in amusement. She could picture that. “Then there was Becca.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Becca?” Toni asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea… but I don’t know a whole lot about it, and it’s not my story to tell.” Dot looks down at her lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit’s serious?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea. I wouldn’t want anyone telling my story, I won’t take that away from her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit there quiet for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like her” Dot chuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up I do not,” but the statement was weak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do! You’re blushing!” Dot half tackles her on the bed, pinning her down. Toni looks up at her exasperated </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell man!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Admit it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’m not moving. Say it! Say you like her! Oh my God you have to invite her to family day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not doing that. She won’t want to come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on you know that’s not true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. I’ll invite her. IF YOU GET OFF ME” Toni wiggles, which just makes Dot laugh before hopping off the bed. Toni brushes herself off and, with dignity, climbs down the ladder and  gets out a paper and pen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <span>Shelby</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Thanks for writing back, I was really excited to hear from you, honestly the best part of my week. All we’ve been doing is marching practice and target detection. We also had a fitness test which I aced. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I’ve been talking to Dot and she said she remembers you, how ironic that I became friends with both of you in Missouri. She says you were the stereotypical pretty, popular blonde at school but something happened with a friend. Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me anything, says it’s your story to tell, which I’ll be waiting to hear.</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Speaking of, there’s this thing in a few weeks called family day right before graduation. Except, I don’t have a family. Maybe you’d want to come? I know it’s a few hours away and you’re busy so I totally get it if you don’t, just let me know in the next letter. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>This week we get to start using real guns, with real ammo. Shooting at fake targets but still, I can’t wait. I’ve never actually shot a firearm but I’m hoping my basketball aim helps, as well as my desire to be the best. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I don’t have much else to say except I love the picture. Definitely gives me some tether to the real world. Sometimes I forget that life actually goes on outside the base, we’re on such a strict schedule and there’s always someone yelling. I don’t remember a time I wasn’t here. Sorry I don’t have any photos of myself to send back, </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Anyway let me know about family day. I’ll try to catch you on the phone sometime. </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Toni</span>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote><p>
  <span>“Can I read it” Dot says, peering over Toni’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Toni responds, quickly folding the paper and shoving it in an envelope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot frowns. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>1 Week Later</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yo Shelby, say ‘Bless your pea-pickin' little heart” Andrew says, their friends urging him on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bless your pea-pickin' little heart” Shelby drawls, unimpressed. They all laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so funny Shelby,” Brian says, his girlfriend on his lap. Shelby feigns a smile when something across the street catches her eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that the mail truck?” She asks, peering over the garbage bins at the end of Brian’s driveway. They were currently in his garage, sipping beers with some pop tunes on in the background.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, I think so, why?” Brain asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I gotta go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey babe wait! Where are you going?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Shelby was already out of the garage and heading down the street to her own house. Her heart was racing as she sifted through the mail and found what she was looking for. Taking only her letter, she heads to the forest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once tucked away in her little treehouse, Shelby opens the envelope with the now familiar handwriting. She was discouraged to see that it was shorter than usual but read on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the Dot she kind of remembered from school, that was neat. But what really grabbed her attention was the mention of family day. Toni wanted her to come out for a day and see the base.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Excitement coursed through her body and she started feeling tingly. The prospect of seeing Toni again sparked an immense feeling of anticipation. Family day was a whole month away but she knew it would consume her thoughts every day. She immediately wrote back that she would love to come. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you like Dot in this! I had fun writing her</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Phone Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni attempts to call Shelby</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>1 Week Later</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright girls, we’ll finish off today with the fitness test. Line up!” DI Klein shouts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls file into place and wait for the command to get into the push up position. Toni concentrates on her breathing, blocking everything out but the Sergeant’s command.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Her arms pump up and down, almost automatically. She keeps her weight balanced and her breathing even. 2 minutes later and she switches to sit ups. Up, down. Up, down. 2 minutes. Then a 2 mile run. Toni notices Dot in the corner of her vision, a few feet behind her and catching up. Toni smiles and starts running faster, which causes Dot to run faster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they approach the finish line Dot surpasses her and lets out a whoop before turning around and sticking her tongue out at Toni.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How mature. It’s not fair, you have longer legs.” Dot, who is 5’7 makes a point to bend down to eye level with Toni. Then she pats Toni on the shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d say you're still growing but I think you’ll be 5’3 the rest of your life. Sorry Shalifoe.” Dot jumps back before Toni can swat her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After being dismissed, the girls start walking back to the barack. “Actually, I have to go do something, it shouldn’t take long, you go ahead.” Toni turns away from Dot and heads toward a building. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, did you forget that you’re my battle buddy? You can’t go anywhere without me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni stops and sighs. “Fuck.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot happily skips towards Toni and links arms. “So where we going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni glares at her and leads them into the building where a bunch of telephones are attached to the wall. She doesn’t need to look at Dot’s face to know that she’s smiling. “Not a word.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot smirks, still smiling wide and mimics zipping her mouth shut. Toni goes up to one of the phones and steels herself. She probably won’t pick up, she’s probably out with friends like a normal teenager. A supervisor passes by her and tells her she has 5 minutes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni takes one more breath. “Fuck it.” She types the number she now has memorized. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s no easy way to describe how one feels when the phone is ringing and they don’t know if the other person will pick up. She holds her breath and feels her chest warm in… fear? Anticipation? What if her dad picks up? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ringggg</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Toni’s never felt so anxious in her life. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ringggg</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This was a mistake. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ringggg.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone picks up the phone and a voice drawls “Goodkind residence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby?” This was not a mistake, Toni feels instantly relieved, then she feels nervous again. What is she going to talk about? She did not think this through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni? Oh my god is that you?” Toni almost cries with happiness at hearing that voice for the first time in a month and a half. Is it possible to miss the voice of someone you spent one afternoon with? Yes. Yes it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, yea it’s me. I can’t believe it’s you.” Toni’s hands were shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it is my phone number,” Shelby chuckles on the other line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, it is,” Toni laughs. Even through the static of the phone, the lilt of Shelby’s accent and the spark in her voice makes Toni miss her. “I wish I could see you.” Shit that made her sound a little desperate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A beat. “I wish I could see you too.” Shelby almost whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three weeks until family day, I got your letter yesterday saying you could come. I was so happy I couldn’t sleep. And because I didn’t sleep I lost a race to Dot today, so I blame you for that,” Toni said with a smile. She could feel Shelby smiling back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well for that I am deeply sorry.” Neither of them spoke for a moment, so much to say but neither willing. “So, uh, what’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Post detail. Pretty boring. Last week we got to do this obstacle course thing with our platoon and it was the most fun I’ve ever had. In the end we were covered in mud and bruises but it was so worth it. Of course we won, the guys weren’t too happy about that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like a lot of fun, I’m glad it’s not all horrible exercises and strict schedules.” Toni thought she detected a hint of jealousy in Shelby’s voice but decided to file that away for later. “How is Dot by the way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next few minutes flew by and before Toni knew it she was saying goodbye. “I’m being kicked out…. I’m glad I caught you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Shelby’s voice was soft and even a little vulnerable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you on family day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After she hung up the phone, Toni took a moment to process everything. That was Shelby’s voice. They talked, in real time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on lovebird. We have to get to chow.” Dot calls to her. Toni walks over to her and they leave side by side. “Tell. Me. Everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Shelby hangs up the phone and stands there with a huge smile on her face. She talked to Toni, to that deep, addicting voice. When the phone first rang, she thought it might be one of her friends asking to hang. She debated not picking up but eventually gave in. God she was glad she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just this last 5 minutes made this day better than any other in the past month. She wished they had more time to talk, but she’d take what she could get.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey, dinner.” Her dad pokes his head into the living room where Shelby was curled up on the sofa. “Whatcha smiling at?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Shelby sits up and calms herself before giving her dad a hug and heading to the dinner table. “Just happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night she heard a rattle at the door in her room leading to her private balcony. Shelby was startled out of her thoughts. She sits upright, grabbing the nearest weapon she could find, which just happened to be a metal water bottle on her night stand. In the dark of night she could just make out a shadow at her door, jiggling the handle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Andrew?” She whisper shouts. The figure looks up.</span>
</p><p><span>“Shelby? You’re awake? I thought I’d come and surprise you.”</span><span><br/>
</span> <span>“What are you doing? It's nearly three in the morning!” Shelby unlocks the door and lets Andrew in, but once she sees his face in the low illumination of the moonlight coming in she sees it was a mistake. 

</span></p><p>He was obviously drunk. "I saw you,"<br/>
<span>"What?" Shelby whispered as to not wake her parents.<br/>
<span>"I saw you, with another guy" he slurred.<br/>
<span>"Andrew I've been here all night."<br/>
<span>"No, you left Brian's to go cheat on me."<br/>
<span>"I didn't, I swear I didn't" She pleaded. "You're drunk."<br/>
<span><span>"Yea, I may be drunk, but I'm not blind."<br/>
<span>"Andrew please"<br/>
<span>He silenced her with a slap across her face.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p>
  <span>
    <span>
      <span>
        <span>
          <span>
            <span>
              <span>
                <span><span></span>She stood there in silent horror as he slunk out of the room and climbed down the balcony.<br/>
</span>
              </span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <span>
      <span>
        <span>
          <span>
            <span>
              <span></span>
            </span>
          </span>
        </span>
      </span>
    </span>
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter's a little shorter but cause it's the weekend I might post again today :)</p><p>Stay tuned for family day next chapter. (Yes I'm skipping three weeks but it's about time they see each other again)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Family Day pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shit happens. Then cute shit happens.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So last chapter took a bit of a dark turn but I'm here a few hours later with an extra long chapter and I hope it makes up for it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Family Day</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni wakes up to Dot shaking her by the shoulders. “Wake up dude it’s family day!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni blinks, the lights are on and people are bustling around the barack, collecting stuff and getting dressed. Toni sits up and smacks her head on the roof. “Ouch. Fuck.” Dot laughs at her and starts pulling on her boots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Family day. She told Shelby to come around 7:30 to start processing and they’d get to see each other around 9. Toni jumps out of bed and starts getting ready, heart pounding. They’d have to go through their own briefing outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her and Dot head out and their platoon arranges into formation, excitement buzzing in the air. Their DI yelled a whole bunch of rules- no sitting on the ground (what?), no getting behind the wheel, no changing out of your uniform, no smoking, drinking, blah blah. A lot of it went over Toni’s head because suddenly she heard footsteps coming into the base. She couldn’t turn around and look or she’d get in trouble but the urge was so strong she had to bite her cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gretchen smiled. “Alright go, get out of here. Dismissed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni whipped her head around and looked for a blonde head. Curse her short legs, it was hard to see anything. Soldiers rushed to meet parents and friends, there were people embracing all around her, but none of that mattered when she saw those light brown eyes and pageant-winning smile. As they locked eyes, the rest of the world disappeared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It reappeared when Dot shoved her from behind and yelled “Go get her Shalifoe!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby started jogging towards her, Toni fuckin’ sprinted, sweeping Shelby up and spinning her around. Shelby giggled as Toni put her down and hugged her hard, inhaling a sweet perfume. Shelby returned the hug vigorously, silent for the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni had her eyes shut, relishing the moment she’d been waiting for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Toni let go and looked at Shelby. “You drove right? Let’s get out of here.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby couldn’t keep her eyes off Toni, the brown shirt showing off muscles in all the right places, her hair tied tight and formal. And those camo pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls got into Shelby’s car and pulled out of the base. Toni opened the window and let out a howl. “I’m freeee! For a day I’m free!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby turned to smile at Toni before returning her eyes to the road. “What do you want to do?” She asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything. Food, oh my God real food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby smirks and pulls into the next In’N’Out they pass. “Nooo you remembered?!” Toni reminds her of an excited puppy, which was the most adorable thing she’s ever seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Toni bites into the burger she moans, eyes closed. “This is the best day ever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby sips her drink and notices Toni’s hand, laying empty in the middle of the console. She fought the urge to slip her hand in and entwine their fingers. It was probably too soon right? This is only the second time they’re meeting in person, but all those letters, the few phone calls. Toni had to feel something right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something wrong?” Toni asks, looking at her with concern. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby looks down. Is this really something she could tell Toni? Of course it was, right? Toni was really her only friend now. “Can we walk?” Shelby asks, pointing to the park behind the restaurant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They get out of the parked car and Toni sidles up to Shelby, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Once out of ear-shot of anyone nearby, Shelby breaks down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Toni sits them down on a grassy hill, tucking Shelby’s stray hair behind her ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Andrew… he” Shelby sputters between sobs. Toni’s face instantly switches from concern to anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did he do to you Shelby.” She says, scarily calm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby takes a deep breath and lets it out. Toni’s nostrils flare and her face screams of rage but her movements are gentle as she tucks Shelby against her chest and rubs circles on her back. “Did you tell the police?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said if I told anyone he’d come and do worse.” Shelby murmured against Toni’s shoulder, slightly shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him. Let’s go.” Toni stood up and supported Shelby as they started walking back to the car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Toni they said if you’re late getting back you’ll have to redo your training.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t fucking care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni, you can’t mess this up,” Shelby says but doesn’t fight as Toni puts her in the passenger seat. “You’re not allowed to drive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This didn’t hinder Toni at all, who floored it down the highway to Boonville.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>An hour and a half (and nearly 5 speeding tickets) later they entered the town. Toni’s face was steel as Shelby directed her towards Andrew’s house. “Toni, you don’t have to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes I do. He is not getting away with this, you hear me? He deserves this. I’m so sorry Shelby that you had to go through that. He will pay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby stayed quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni knocked on his front door. There were no cars in the driveway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A young man answered the door, and Shelby stepped behind Toni.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Andrew?” Toni asked. He looked confused, and annoyed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea… Shelby? Who is this?” But Toni stepped forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. You don’t get to talk to her. She told me, you disgusting asshole and you’re going to pay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had the audacity to look confused before glaring at Shelby over Toni’s shoulder. “I told you what would happen if you told anyone.” Then he looks at Toni. “What are you gonna do? A 5’3 skimpy little girl who dresses up like a soldier? I’ll kill you both!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But before he could make a move Toni kicked him in the groin and got him in a headlock. He started choking. Shelby looked away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby, hey, can you call 911?” Her voice was soft but firm at the same time. “Only if you’re okay to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby nodded and stepped around the pair before heading to the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While the cops were on the way, Toni pressed his windpipe. “You’re going to tell the truth, you understand?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spit at her, which made Toni tighten her grip. “I’ll fucking kill you!” As she threw Andrew to the ground and knelt on his back, the cops came in the open door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Disappointed she couldn’t hurt him more, she got up, and once she made sure he was restrained, she went over to Shelby and slowly put her hand on her shoulder, watching for any sign of discomfort. When Shelby didn’t react, Toni lifted her chin with a finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay, he’s gone. You’re safe. If anyone, I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> ever does anything to hurt you you tell me. Okay?” Shelby nods, tears streaming down her face. Toni gently wipes them away. “Are you okay to give a statement or would you rather wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s shoulders were shaking but she said “Let’s get this over with.” Then “you’ll come with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, technically I can't be further than 5 miles from you at any time so I guess I have to,” to which Shelby laughs and her shoulders relax a bit. “There we go, you’re gonna be okay.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After giving the statement, Shelby was feeling a lot better. A weight that had been sitting on her shoulders for three weeks was lifted and she felt more free, not completely, but now that Toni was by her side she felt empowered. “It’s almost 2, I’m sorry I wasted your day off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No apologizing. You want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was driving, heading back towards the base- not to go back but just to ensure Toni wouldn’t be out past curfew. “No, I’m good.” At Toni’s concerned look, “I promise, I’m good. Now, we still have 5 hours. What would you like to do?” Shelby’s pure smile was back, the one from the photo Toni spent so many hours looking at. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Question is, what am I allowed to do? I can’t swim, I wasn’t supposed to go more than 25 miles away from base but screw that, I can’t smoke, and god am I missing cigarettes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The image of Toni smoking makes Shelby almost miss the next turn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ever been to an arcade?” Shelby asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope. Spent all my money on gas and fast food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby hmms and continues driving, eventually turning into a parking lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait we’re actually going to an arcade?!” Toni stares out the window, huge smile on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, and we’ll be back in plenty of time.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair! you’re literally a basketball champion,” Shelby complains as they play hoops in the arcade. Bright lights are flashing everywhere, game sounds and clacking of buttons. Both girls have been transported to an isolated world where all that exists is them, and competition.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s cause your form is all off” Toni chuckles and puts in another dollar coin into the machine Shelby was playing at. “Here.” She puts a ball in Shelby’s hands, then crosses her arms. “Feet shoulder width apart. Wider. Wider.” Shelby giggles as she follows the instructions. “Okay, now bend your shooting elbow and support the ball with the other hand.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby fumbles and awkwardly bends her arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh God no” Toni laughs, “here.” She steps behind Shelby and guides her arm, bending it properly. Shelby feels the warmth emanating off Toni’s torso and into her back. It’s a comforting warmth, one that she could bask in forever. Shelby lets Toni guide her arms, and she makes the shot! “Hey you did it! Except you took so long your time is up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby leans against the machine to support herself laughing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni stands a little straighter and her mouth curls into a worried gaze. “Hey, I didn’t uh, make you uncomfortable right? That was okay?” She asks, making eye contact to make sure Shelby knew she was serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could never.” Shelby makes sure Toni sees SHES serious, then quickly kisses her on the cheek and drags her by the hand to go play another game. For a moment Toni is stunned, reaching up with her unoccupied hand to touch the spot on her cheek where Shelby’s lips were not moments before. She could feel a deep blush start to rise, and made sure to stay out of Shelby’s line of sight until it went away.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Back at base, it was almost time to leave. Toni had to be back at her barack a few minutes before curfew. Sitting in Shelby’s car in the parking lot, Toni ripped a donut in half and handed one to Shelby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You broke so many rules today” Shelby starts</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Toni grins, proud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if they find out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They won't. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” Shelby is reminded of what she read in Toni’s journal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Toni, if you ever need to talk about anything, if you’re having… bad thoughts, you can talk to me.” Shelby looks sincerely at Toni, who nods shyly back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go back.” Toni said, not moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Shelby said, not moving either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gonna be okay driving back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gonna come back tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can come back tomorrow?” Shelby looks at Toni now, astonished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit I didn’t tell you it was a two day thing?” Toni looks embarrassed and regretful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Shelby laughs. “I’ll be here. Same time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grin that graces Toni’s face outshone the setting sun behind them. “Really? It’s a far drive, you don’t have to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be here.” Shelby interrupts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well. On that note. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. You can for 8:30, they don’t have to explain all the rules again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Toni steps out of the car and waves goodbye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she stepped into her barack, Dot was waiting for her with a smile on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright Shalifoe, spill. I wanna hear everything.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter's gonna be all fluff and fun as this one got a bit dark and we all need some happy Shoni in our lives. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Family Day pt 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni and Shelby head out for the second Family day with a few friends. Mostly shameless fluff.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for all your continued support. You make me want to keep writing :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>This morning Toni was up before anyone else, lying in her bed staring up at the ceiling thinking about yesterday. The thrill of it all had distracted her from the amount of trouble she could have gotten in. Shelby was right, she did break a lot of rules, and if any of her superiors found out she doubted they’d even let her redo basic, she’d be immediately kicked out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever. The time she spent with Shelby was worth it, she had more fun at the arcade than anywhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni drifted in and out of consciousness until the wake up call. She then got dressed and ready for the day. The anticipation of seeing her friend again was strong, but more bearable than yesterday. “Did anyone come to see you yesterday?” Toni asks Dot. In all the excitement with Shelby she forgot to ask how Dot’s day was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m a lone wolf, I spent the day with Mateo cause his family couldn’t make it this weekend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh how did that go, any action?” Toni winks at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see what you’re doing. You’re doing the same thing to me as I do to you. Ha ha.” Dot laughs sarcastically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You still didn’t answer the question,” Toni says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you must know, we just talked the whole day. We couldn’t leave base so we sat down by a tree and just… talked. Looking back I don’t know how we just talked for 9 hours but yea. It was nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni smiles, happy for her friend. “You guys wanna hang out with Shelby and I today? She can drive so we can actually go somewhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want to impose on your rare alone time,” Dot smirks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Toni would love some more alone time with Shelby, she wanted Dot to have some freedom. And she wanted to meet Mateo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t be imposing. I’m sure Shelby would love to hang out with more people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… if you’re sure, I’ll go ask Mateo.” Dot grins and heads out the barack, Toni following. Shelby wouldn’t be here for another hour so they spent some time walking to Mateo’s barack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Mateo,” Dot says, catching him leaving the small building. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dot, hey what’s up.” He had dark hair and a winning smile paired with kind eyes. Toni instantly liked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is my friend Toni, she has a friend coming for family day and invited us to hang out with them, maybe get off base for a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mateo’s eyes lit up. “I would kill to get off base, I’m in. Nice to meet you Toni,” he inclines his head towards the shorter girl who smiles back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spend the next half hour doing a morning workout, running suicides, doing push up battles and stretching. As she stands up she feels hands being placed on her shoulders. Her instant reaction is to hit whatever touched her but instead she spins around and is greeted with a beautiful face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby! Hey” Toni pulls her in for a quick hug and keeps her arm around Shelby’s shoulders as she turns back around. “This is Mateo, and Dot who you kinda know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot waves a little awkwardly and Mateo extends his hand for a shake. “I was thinking they could hang out with us today? Neither of their families could make it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea of course” Shelby says enthusiastically. “I know you don’t always get breakfast and I found this neat pancake house near here I thought we could go to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love it,” Toni says. “You guys in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She is met with happy faces and grumbling bellies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group walks towards Shelby’s car, Dot and Mateo hand in hand. “So are they a thing?” Shelby whispers in Toni’s ear, unaware that Mateo was asking the exact same thing to Dot a few feet behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, they’re just friends… for now. There’s an obvious attraction, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Definitely.” They both respond. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Thank you” Mateo says to the waiter after placing his order. Shelby sips her drink as Toni and Dot talk about some girl in their platoon that keeps leaving hair everywhere. “So Shelby, what brings you to Missouri.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby side glances at Dot quickly before looking down at her hands on the table. “Um, you know, family wanted a change of scenery. I got some pageant opportunities and my dad got a job. It was the right time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does your dad do?” He asks, genuinely interested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a pastor, super big on religion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you? Are you religious. You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable but I’m just curious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s what I’ve been taught since birth, I go to church every Sunday. I feel a real connection to Jesus so yea I’d say I’m religious,” Shelby says with a chuckle. She’s saved from further questions by the waiter placing their food down on the table. Each of the soldiers got a large stack of pancakes topped with all the fixings- fruit, whipped cream, syrup, chocolate chips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am going to devour this.” Toni says, looking primal. Everyone laughs before digging in. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“I am stuffed. This place is so good, how’d you find it?” Dot asks Shelby as they walk back to the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad and I once went on a small road trip one day and stumbled across it, really is a gem ain’t it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all agree, climbing in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s the plan?” Toni asks from the passenger seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Shelby starts, “if you’re up to it I have an idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” They all ask excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“YO LASER TAG” Toni shouts, looking out the window. She looks at Shelby, pulling into a spot. “You’re dead, you know that right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby chuckles. “I thought stuffing you with pancakes might slightly even the playing field.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you trickster!” Toni playfully hits her arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaaannddd,” Shelby continues, “I was hoping we could team up or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck yea,” Toni buzzes in her seat with excitement. “Let’s go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once geared up and ready, they head in. Mateo and Dot head one way into the glow in the dark maze while Toni and Shelby head the other. The four of them were playing with a birthday party of teenagers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni’s soldier training kicks in and she takes charge. “Cover my back.” She commands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes ma’am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you just call me ma’am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby laughs out loud, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni holds her own threatening to spill “Shhh you’re going to give away our position.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They turn a corner, Toni shoots out a laser and hears a kid whine. “Yes, let’s go.” Toni heads up a ramp, Shelby walking backwards to make sure no one can sneak up on them. Toni moves with purpose, stealthy and quick that her form distracted Shelby for a second and she got shot. Toni whips around and kneels, poking around Shelby’s legs to shoot the perpetrator. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hears the guy’s pack start beeping, indicating he’s been hit. She stands with a grunt of satisfaction. “Did you just use me as a shield?” Shelby asks, flabbergasted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have to if you did your job” Toni jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh ho ho the almighty soldier you are,” Shelby jokes back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the girls turn corners and Toni takes out all the opponents, they don’t notice the time flying by. Before they know it the game’s over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They regroup with Dot and Mateo in the common room and decide to head in for another game.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After that, they get hungry for lunch and go to McDonalds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni turns to Dot where they’re sitting on a picnic bench. “DI Klein would HATE that we’re eating McD’s right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God she would flip her lid” Dot agrees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least Klein is reasonable, my DI never lets us stand at ease, doesn’t allow laughing if he’s within fifty yards, and never grants phone privileges.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three soldiers trade stories of basic training while Shelby happily listens in. This is what friends are supposed to be, she thinks, joking around with each other but at no particular person’s expense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spend the rest of the time in the park, Dot and Mateo throwing a frisbee while Toni and Shelby walk through the trees and enjoy the sounds of nature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Amidst the comforting silence Toni walks a little closer and slips her hand into Shelby’s, gently as if to ask if it was okay. Still looking ahead, Shelby gives a little squeeze and holds on tighter, not bothering to think about what this means and instead lets the warmth of Toni’s hand seep into hers. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Back at base, it is once again time for the soldiers to get back and Shelby to leave. Toni turns to her. “Thanks for taking us out, I had a lot of fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish we’d gotten to know each other in high school, you actually seem pretty cool” Dot says by way of farewell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mateo gives a “It was nice to meet you,” and a wave goodnight before the two head back together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what happens now?” Shelby asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I graduate tomorrow and ship out to advanced training in Georgia”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Georgia?” Shelby asks, already worried “For how long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could be 4 weeks, could be 4 months, I’ll know once I get there. However, I get more phone time there and more free days. I know it’s farther away but maybe we could meet halfway or something. We’ll figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looks at the time, “Shit I gotta head back” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby looks a little disappointed but forces a smile. “Goodbye Toni.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye Shelb, talk soon.” Toni pulls her in for a hug and after a moment lets go reluctantly. With a confirming nod, she turns around and doesn’t look back. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. AIT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni arrives at Ft. Benning and writes a letter</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dear Shelby,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don’t know when you’ll get this letter but I thought I should write. I don’t get phone privileges until next week so I’ll try calling you then but I’d like to let you know a few things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So I got to Fort Benning yesterday, the base looks similar to Missouri but still unfamiliar. I know I’ll get used to it eventually but I actually miss the other base. I start infantry training tomorrow and it’s only 4 and half weeks. After that I get my first assignment, which is pretty cool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot and I both came to Ft. Benning together and got placed in the same unit which is awesome. It was starting to get a little chilly in Missouri, being November and all but it’s more mild here. Dot’s actually writing a letter to Mateo right now, he got shipped to Ft. Jackson in South Carolina but it seems like they decided to keep in touch. Cute right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How’s it going at your house? Anything interesting? Sorry I don’t have that much to say. Oh, fun story. On the bus from Missouri (Yea, on a bus for 11 hours) we had a real bonding moment between the group. One guy started singing Don’t Stop Believing, and then we were all singing so loud I got a headache after, but it was worth it. It’s like we’re entering the next chapter of our lives together and, I don’t know it sounds corny but I’ve never really had a family before and the army has given me that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyway I’ll keep this short and try to catch you on the phone soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“You done yet?” Toni goes over to Dot, sitting at a desk with a letter in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just about” Dot replies as she finishes up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hearts? Really? That’s so cute” Toni teases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s one. After my name. And you’re one to talk, anytime someone so much as mentions Shelby hearts spew out your eyes and you stink of longing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s very vivid Dot thank you for that.” They both laugh and grab their letters, heading out to the post station. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>1 Week Later</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you can’t call Mateo,” Toni says sincerely as they walk to the phone station.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, me too. Letters are good but they take forever to deliver, it’d be nice to talk in real time.” Dot shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna spend your week off after AIT with him?” Toni asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know yet, I’ll ask in my next letter how much time he gets off and if he’s going back to be with his family. Speaking of, are you spending the week with her? It overlaps Christmas, maybe she’ll dress up as Santa for you” Dot winks. Toni slaps her. “Ouch dude! Do you resort to violence for everything?” Dot asks, laughing as she rubs the spot Toni hit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, kind of a reflex”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S’alright. So seriously, you gonna ask her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hadn’t really thought about it. Guess it’s worth asking, otherwise I’ll spend Christmas alone in a cheap motel that smells like cheese.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the spirit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair reach the phone area and Toni steps forward, hand on the phone. She hopes the time difference doesn’t hinder their ability to talk. Dialing the number, Toni leans on the wall and closes her eyes, listening to the familiar dial tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” A bright voice says on the other line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby, hey, it’s Toni.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. I don’t know a Toni, are you sure you have the right number?” Shelby jokes, making Toni laugh and roll her eyes. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good actually, we get a lot more free time, we get 12 minutes to eat,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“12 minutes, wow they’re spoiling you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, I can actually taste some of the food I’m eating now,” there’s a comfortable pause in which Toni could tell the other girl was smiling. “So, uh, can I ask you something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, anything,” Her tone is curious but not worried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So in a few weeks I get a week off before being assigned somewhere, I don’t know if you got my letter but I mentioned it there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea I got it yesterday, I’m glad you’re there with Dot and she’s keeping in touch with Mateo. From the one day we spent together they seem like a good pair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, they really are. Anyway, um, I was wondering if you still have my truck? You know, the red one that doesn’t work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was confused, and a little disappointed to be honest. “I… Yea I still have it”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would I be able to take it back for a week? Just to sleep in I’ll spend the rest of the day out of your hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pause. “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni I’m not going to let you sleep in a broken truck your one week off. And I’m not letting you run away from me the whole week, it’s Christmas!” Shelby laughs. “You can stay with me, we have a guest bedroom. My parents will be happy to finally meet you, and I have the week off work so we’ll have plenty of time to hang out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni couldn’t contain the huge smile breaking out on her face. “Really? You’re sure? I don’t wanna impose.” Yes she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, you won’t be imposing. My friends have been keeping some distance since the Andrew incident.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can figure out the details next week? I’ll call you same time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go now,” The supervisor flashed her a one minute warning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you didn’t”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Toni says </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stay on the line for a few silent moments, just sensing each other's presence and wishing it didn’t have to end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Toni takes a breath, “Goodbye Shelby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye Toni, see you soon”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a click and the line went dead. Toni hung up the phone. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Hey Mom? Dad?” Shelby calls, walking down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In here sweetie!” Her mom calls from the living room. Shelby makes her way down the hall and into the open concept area with lush couches and a large fireplace. Shelby takes a seat across from her parents. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can Toni, my army friend, stay here for a week in between her training and assignment?” She asks confidently, with a smile, showing no fear that they’d say no since she already told Toni yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her parents look at each other. “What week would this be?” Her dad asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over christmas?” She says, voice high. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well honey, you have a pageant that week. Will her being here distract you from preparing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit she forgot about that. The thought of Toni watching her singing and dancing dressed in christmas themed dresses made her blush. “No, I’ll be fine, I promise.” She says, looking at her lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave sighs, “I guess we can’t deny hospitality to a soldier eh?” He looks at his wife, who nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a yes?!” Shelby sits up straight, newfound excitement coursing through her veins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Christmas Week day 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni graduates AIT and goes to Shelby's house.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm a bit more busy with school so chapters may be a bit more slow going but I wanted to give this to y'all. Thanks for your continued support &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>3 Weeks later</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The base was a bustle of activity, organized bustle but still. There was energy in the air as the group of recently graduated young soldiers packed up their last things and said goodbye to friends. Toni and Dot sat by a tree near the bus station.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know we requested to be at the same station but if we don’t get it just know that you’re literally my best friend,” Dot says, leaning her head on Toni’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you dude,” Toni says, seriously, wrapping her arm around Dot. “Seriously, without you I would’ve been kicked out in week 2 of basic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot snorts. “Yea, probably. I remember the first time I met you I thought you were like this feisty bitch that would give me a run for my money. Turns out I was right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni chuckles, “Yea well I thought you were gonna be a bossy snitch. I was half right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh please,” Dot laughs. “You love me,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You love me back,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say that like I shouldn’t,” Dot says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just getting used to it,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit silently together until Toni’s bus arrives. Dot walks her there and wraps her in a bear hug. “I’ll miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll get stationed together, I’ll see you in a week.” Toni replies. “I’ll miss you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After another moment they let go. “Go get your girl Shalifoe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni smiles, “Go get your guy Campbell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot smiles and gives Toni one more quick hug before letting her get on the bus.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni’s coming today right?” Shelby’s mom asks her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep!” Shelby says, nervous and excited at the same time. “It’s about a 12 hour ride so she won’t be here until around 10:30.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh okay. I’ll make sure to set aside some dinner for when she gets here and you can warm it up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good mom, thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was currently making up the guest room, removing anything Toni might find pretentious. The result was a plain cream coloured room with a queen bed, light gray sheets and only two pillows. She had a feeling Toni would make fun of the 8 she had on her own bed. There was a dresser and a pile of some of Shelby’s clothes that Toni could borrow while here. With her hands on her hips, Shelby nods her satisfaction and looks for something else to do until tonight.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It was almost 9:30 and Shelby was restless. Her parents had gone to bed and she had just arrived at the diner, for once not for work. She decided to wear a comfy pair of jeans and a grey fitted t-shirt under her winter jacket. Her stomach was turning in circles in anticipation. Every time a car passed or a bus stopped, her pulse started racing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Geez Goodkind pull it together.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span> Shelby stepped out of her car and started to walk around, breath fogging in front of her. She walked around the parking lot a few times, then across the street to the bus stop. She willed every vehicle to stop and let off her soldier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally a bus pulled up and stopped. Shelby felt her hope dwindling as a large man disembarked with an older woman, then a group of teenagers. The bus closed its doors and pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby stood there for a second, trying to will the bus back but it kept going, further and further and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey stranger,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby turned around to see Toni bundled in an army jacket, bag over her shoulder, looking tired but eyes lit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God Toni you scared me,” Shelby walks up to Toni and pulls her in tight. “I thought you weren’t gonna get off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I’d trick you, heh. Shelb you’re freezing, how long you been out here?” Her tone went from playful to concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like 45 minutes.” she says sheepishly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my goodness.” Toni rubs her hands up and down to warm the other girl up. “Let’s go then, c’mon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lets Shelby lead her back to the car and turns the engine on to let it warm up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was your journey?” Shelby asks, more comfortable now that the wind wasn’t beating against her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Long, boring, smelly. I doubt they ever clean those buses.” Shelby’s laugh makes Toni smile wide. “Easy though, only had to switch a few times. All worth it.” Shelby looks away out the window to hide the tint on her cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You hungry? My mom made extra pasta.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck yea. I haven’t eaten since this protein bar I picked up at a bus stop in Atlanta.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That explains why you’re so skinny. You barely eat anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, there’s muscles under there. I have abs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby laughs. “I bet you do.” In her mind she wished Toni would show her. “Let’s get going. It’s not far.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car ride is mostly silent, save for the rumble of the engine and the wind blowing past the car. A few minutes later they pull into a long driveway up to a two story house. Out of the corner of her eye Shelby sees that Toni’s drifting off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turns the engine off and for a moment just observes the soft way Toni’s chest rises and falls, the stress of the day evaporating. Shelby wished they could just stay in the car all night but it would soon get cold and Toni deserved to sleep on a real bed after being on a bunk the past few months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby gets out of the car and walks around, opens the passenger door and gently shakes Toni’s shoulder. “Hey, we gotta go inside. Toni,” Toni stirs, half opening her eyes and tugging her jacket closer to block the invading cold. “C’mon, it’s warm inside.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni grumbles and fumbles for the seatbelt buckle. After a minute of her not getting it Shelby starts to reach over. “Let me help,” her hand brushes Toni’s and sends a shock down her arm. She could feel the heat coming off Toni through both their jackets and she had to refrain from looking at Toni’s face so close to hers. After taking a deep breath she finds the buckle, clicks it and pulls Toni out of the car. Toni was leaning on her so much she could be drunk, luckily Shelby was used to escorting her drunk friends home so the extra weight was no trouble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby quickly got Toni in the door, up the stairs and into the guest bedroom. “There’s clothes over there you can use if you want.” Shelby points to the pile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni mumbles “Mmkay.” She was semi-conscious, currently crawling under the covers of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright you’ve had a long day. I’ll see you in the morning.” Shelby said quietly, but Toni was already knocked out, her even breaths blowing a strand of hair back and forth across her face. Shelby walks over and tucks it behind her ear, lingering for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lord this was going to be a long week.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>In the morning Shelby was in the kitchen cooking up some eggs when Toni walks in, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Morning.” Shelby almost drops the spatula when she sees the other girl, hair damp from a shower, wearing Shelby’s oversized shirt and short shorts that barely dip below the shirt line. Shelby ran her eyes down toned legs before realizing she was staring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey, morning,” Shelby swallows hard and goes back to looking at the eggs. “You hungry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you wouldn’t believe. Sorry for passing out last night, it was a long day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey no apologies necessary. You deserve a good night's sleep. Were you comfortable?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like sleeping on a cloud. I forgot that normal people don’t sleep on boards and gym mats. By the way thanks for the clothes and the shower, I’ve been in army sweats for days and we couldn’t do laundry so I smelled really bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea of course, I can put on a load after we eat.” Or maybe later cause the thought of Toni wearing more of her clothes sent a surge of warmth through her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool, whatcha making?” Toni moves closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eggs okay? I already made some bacon and hashbrowns. I put them in the microwave to keep warm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was an audible tummy gurgle and Toni looks down, slightly embarrassed. “I guess that answers your question.” Shelby laughs, perfectly content. The whole scene was so domestic and perfect she could live in this moment forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then her dad walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey girls, Toni, nice to meet you.” He shakes Toni’s hand, who plasters on a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you too. I’m sorry I’m not dressed the most appropriately but I’m afraid my own clothes need a good wash.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No worries at all, I hope you’re comfortable during your stay. Anyone who serves our country is always welcome.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I thank you for your hospitality. I don’t know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t met your daughter.” Toni looks fondly at Shelby, who watches the interaction while worrying her lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave notices the look but doesn’t comment. “Yes well, we’re very proud of her. I have to go to work now but please, make yourself at home. Shelby, make sure you practice your song for the pageant.” Dave leaves with a nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they hear the door shut, Toni turns to Shelby. “What pageant?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Pageant pt 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shelby competes in a christmas pageant. Toni enjoys the view.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'all are so sweet, thank you so much for your comments. Love you &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“C’mon put the dress on” Toni urges. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls are in Shelby’s bedroom, helping prepare Shelby for her pageant. Toni was sprawled across the bed, running her hand over the fluffy blanket under her. Shelby was in the doorway of her closet, contemplating putting the dress on. “I don’t know,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put it on and then sing your song,” Toni says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want me to sing for you?” Shelby’s heart rate picks up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sing in your dress. C’mon your dad said you need to practice. If you don’t do well he’ll blame me and kick me out and all because you wouldn’t sing for me.” Toni feigns a pout and Shelby bursts out laughing before giving in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, but it takes me like 10 minutes to put it on so you’ll have to keep busy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have enough pillows on here that by the time I find a comfortable position to watch you you’ll be all ready.” Toni smirks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby rolls her eyes. “I knew you were going to say something about my pillows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well why do you need so many?” Toni laughs and throws one at Shelby, who yelps and jumps in the closet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” She says from behind the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni sits up and looks around the bedroom. Noticing the desk in front of the window, she goes over and starts rifling through things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you snooping?” Shelby yells, struggling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Toni answers honestly, opening drawers. She just finds pencils, pens, various office supplies. In the bottom she finds a box, and inside were all the letters she wrote Shelby. God it’s hard to believe it’s only been a few months. She rereads the first letter, seeing how awkward and unsure of herself she was. So much has changed since she met Dot and Shelby, they literally changed her for the better, and she couldn’t be more grateful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as she’s closing the drawer, she hears the door click open behind her. Toni turns around and freezes. Stepping out is a girl transformed from a hoodie and jeans into a princess. Black high heels give her even more height, complimenting the navy strapless dress flowing down those long legs. Her golden hair frames her pointed jawline and makes her light eyes shine even brighter. “Well?” Shelby asks, unsure of herself. She twirls and leans against the doorframe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow…” Toni struggles for words. “You look…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful, amazing, perfect,</span>
  </em>
  <span> “great. The judges will love it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think?” Shelby sighs in relief, stepping forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely. Now,” Toni moves back to the bed, mouth dry. “Sing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re actually going to make me sing.” Shelby deadpans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. Sing,” Toni smiles, trying to keep her eyes on Shelby’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. here we go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her angelic voice fills the room, the sweet melody sounding pure and authentic with no instruments backing it up. Toni is glued in place, never taking her eyes off the girl standing in front of her. Once the song draws to a close, Shelby’s voice fades and they look at each other, locked in a gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni claps, then smiles, stands and claps some more. “Amazing. Perfect. No one will be able to beat you, you’ve got this in the bag.” Shelby shyly looks down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Toni. What are you going to wear? I don’t think I have any dresses that will fit but I might have some dress pants.” Shelby squints.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ll wear my uniform, the supervisors are always saying to wear it in public. Plus it’s clean now so I won’t drive everyone away with my smell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby chuckles, “Sounds good, and you’re coming to the afterparty of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never mentioned an afterparty,” Toni raises her eyebrows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oops.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t miss it.” Toni laughs, shaking her head,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Can you unzip me?” She asks, pulling her hair over one shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unzip… your dress?” Toni starts to panic a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No silly, my shoes. Yes my dress,” She jokes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aright, yea I can do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni moves behind Shelby slowly, raising her hand to move some more hair out of the way. As she does so, her fingers brush Shelby’s shoulder. The blonde shivers, looking at Toni in the mirror in front of her. Toni looks at her back, breathing heavily as she moves her hand to the zipper, slowly tugging it down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once down, Toni puts her hand on Shelby’s hip, starting to turn her around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door downstairs slams shut and the girls jump apart, spell broken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby, flustered, waves her hands. “I’ll just- yea” And goes to change in the closet. Toni takes a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was going to be a long week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You girls ready to go?” Dave calls up after dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby and Toni, all dressed and ready, meet at the top of the stairs- Shelby in her pre-pageant tank top, jeans and sparkly diamond earrings, dress bag slung over her arm. Toni all proper in full uniform. “Coming dad,” Shelby calls back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni gestures for her to go down first, so Shelby slowly heads down, Toni following behind. Once at the bottom, her parents clap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I’m talking about.” Her dad says, mom grabbing a camera. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say cheese!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom I’m not even in my dress yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry I’ll take another picture later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni refrains from rolling her eyes by forcing herself to smile instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at her posture,” Dave comments. “Immaculate, Shelby, stand straighter.” Shelby quickly wipes the grimace off her face and smiles, drawing strength from the side of Toni’s arm pressed against hers. “Good. Now let’s get going. Don’t wanna be late now do we.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Next up, the christmas costume contest! Contestants will line up and be judged on costume, poses, and fluidity of the act.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby didn’t mention a costume contest? Toni wonders. Jingle bells starts playing throughout the auditorium and women start walking onto the stage, and yep- there’s Shelby, dressed as Mrs. Claus. Her tight red dress clings to every curve, a thin black belt and buckle sitting above her hips. The pompom on the red hat sitting on her head sways back and forth with the beat as Shelby smiles and waves walking onto stage. Her presence lightens the room in Toni’s eyes, golden hair like a ray of sun. She stops, poses a few times- all with a genuine smile on her face, then exits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit, Dot was right. Shelby did dress up like Santa. The thought makes Toni giggle, which thankfully Shelby’s parents don’t see as they’re busy cheering. After the rest of the girls leave the stage and the applause dies down, the announcer comes out to begin the talent portion of the pageant. Toni politely sits through a few other girls sing some songs about Jesus and stuff. They were pretty, Toni would admit, but not even close to Shelby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When her name was announced, Toni sat up straighter and clapped. When Shelby walked out, now changed into her navy dress, Toni moved to the edge of her seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby moved behind the mic and adjusted it, then the piano started a slow, steady melody. Shelby started to sing along, softly at first.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never knew I could feel like this</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like I’ve never seen the sky before</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She raises her voice building up to the chorus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her voice fills the auditorium, echoing off the walls to create an ethereal atmosphere. Then Shelby looked up into the audience, screening. First she smiled at her parents, then she locked eyes with Toni and the world flipped. Her voice was suddenly that much stronger, filled with a passion that wasn’t there before. She drew strength from Toni’s gaze and it was as if they were the only two in the room. Toni felt the words of the song absorb in her chest as if Shelby was singing directly to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come what may,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come what may,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Until my dying day</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Suddenly the world, seems such a perfect place</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave sideglances at Toni, seeing once again how they look at each other like no one else was there, filing it away for later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The song reaches a close and Shelby closes her eyes as the last note rings out. There’s an audible pause before the audience erupts in cheers. Shelby recieves a standing ovation, she takes a bow, an elegant wave, and one last smile at Toni before exiting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow even though this time Shelby sung in front of over a hundred people, it was more personal, more </span>
  <em>
    <span>to Toni</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The time she sung in her bedroom Shelby avoided eye contact and held back her true talent. This time she let it all out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later the announcer came back out and started announcing the winners. Shelby of course won in all the categories she competed in, gracefully accepting the tiara and sash. The announcer starts to make closing remarks, which is when Toni stands up. “Just gotta use the washroom,” She whispers to Dave before leaving the auditorium.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After changing into a more comfortable dress, wiping the sweat from her face and applying a few sprays of perfume, Shelby steps out into the lobby of the performing centre. Her parents were there waiting, with huge smiles and big hugs, though she kept looking over their shoulder for someone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey we’re so proud of you,” her mom coos, rubbing her back. “We’ll take your sash and tiara home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see you and Toni at home after the party okay? Be safe. Love you.” Her dad says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you dad,” Dave kisses her on the cheek and takes his wife’s hand, walking outside. Shelby peers around her competitors and their families for Toni. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” A deep voice says from behind her. Shelby jumps and turns around to see Toni, holding a full bouquet of dark blue coloured roses. She holds them out. “You were amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby beams, taking the flowers sheepishly. “When did you have time to get these?” She brings the bouquet to her nose and inhales the sweet smell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had them ordered here before we left and picked them up while the guy was finishing up onstage.” Toni was standing with her hands clasped behind her back, heels together at attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sneaky. You look nervous, you feeling okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, just so used to standing like this.” Shelby sidles up to Toni and links their arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ease up soldier, we got a party to go to.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter!<br/>If anyone was wondering the song Shelby was singing was 'Come what may' from Moulin Rouge</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Pageant pt 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Heh.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi again! Back with another chapter. I hope you like :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The girls head out to Shelby’s car, which they parked there during the day. The sun had now set and the clouds blocked any light from coming through the sky. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.” Shelby repeats, leaning her head on Toni’s shoulder as they approach the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful roses for a beautiful girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s glad for the darkness of the night because the blood that rushes to her face would certainly raise some questions. Shelby clears her throat and steps away from Toni to head to the driver’s seat. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>15 minutes later they pull into a parking lot, an elegant banquet hall standing beside. It seemed like a lot of people were already here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to tell you I haven’t really been to many parties, especially fancy parties.” Toni says nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, it’s easy. Just stick with me.” Shelby grabs Toni’s hand without thinking about it and the gesture both scares and excites her. She knows it isn’t a mistake when Toni entwines their fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few steps in the door and people started clapping. Pageant girls, their friends and chaperones all looked towards the girls and applauded. Toni looks at Shelby, “wow, they’re really good sports.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re not cheering for me, silly.” Shelby gestures to Toni’s uniform.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? They’re applauding me?” Toni wrinkles her forehead. Shelby nods, holding in a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for your service,” The announcer man comes and shakes Toni’s hand, pats her on the back and walks away. The applause dies down and everyone goes back to their party activities, but Toni’s still confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t even done anything yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made a commitment to serving our country, you worked really hard through training, sacrificed sleep, food and a normal social life. You’ve done a lot already.” Shelby says, absently stroking Toni’s hand with her thumb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Toni looks around the room for the first time, feeling grounded from the warmth coming from Shelby’s hand, and the pleasant tingling her thumb was causing. Along the walls are tables with refreshments and snacks, windows that lead to a balcony overlooking a pond, washrooms at the far end and a big dance floor in the middle. Right now people are generally settling in, mingling, nursing a glass of punch. “So…” She starts. “What exactly do you do here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, for starters the mini sandwiches are really good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could go for a mini sandwich.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>A few hours later everyone was packed on the dance floor, jumping up and down with the beat of a pop song. Shelby and Toni were right in the middle of it, pumping their arms up and down, whooping and cheering. Toni’s movements were free. For the first time in so long no one was directing her every footstep. She was free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watched Shelby jump freely, eyes closed in pure bliss. The disco ball shone sparkles of light across her flawless skin. Toni just stood and watched for a moment, then Shelby opened her eyes and caught her. She tried saying something but it was lost in the loud pumping bass. Toni tried yelling back “What?” but then the music slowed down and people started pairing off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby shrugged and grabbed Toni by the waist, catching her off guard. Toni braced herself against Shelby’s forearms, feeling the hidden muscle beneath smooth skin before sliding them to latch around her neck. Once the moment of awkwardness was over, Toni says “What were you saying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You looked thoughtful, I was just wondering what was on your mind.” Shelby begins to sway them back and forth, occasionally taking a step in one direction or another.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was thinking that I would really like to kiss you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I was wondering how you’re still standing after jumping on high heels for an hour,” Toni whispers, smirking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just barely. You might have to carry me out bridal style.” She whispers back. Toni lets out a silent laugh. The song continues, the girls shifting almost imperceptibly closer until their foreheads were pressed together. Their breath mingled in the small space between them, charged with electricity. The room was dark save for the now calmly spinning disco ball sprinkling light around the room. The music fades away and all that’s left is them in the centre of the dance floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni shifts her head up so their noses bump, Shelby closes her eyes and starts to lean forward but then the lights switch on and she jumps back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They look at each other, eyes adjusting to the now overly-bright room. Both were breathing heavy, not willing to look away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alrighty there, that about wraps up our night. I hope you had fun, enjoyed some of the punch, danced with your partner.” Toni doesn’t see it but the announcer winks at this. “At your leisure, you may head out and enjoy the rest of the night. Merry Christmas everyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guests start trickling out, one of them bumps Toni, breaking their intense gaze. Toni blinks and finds her bearings, Shelby doing the same. Toni looks back at her, inclining her head towards the door. Shelby nods and they head out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ride home was silent, charged, Shelby kept her eyes on the road while Toni kept stealing glances at her out of the corner of her eye. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What just happened. Did they almost… Did Shelby want… Urg why is life so difficult. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Toni is occupied by her thoughts the rest of the way home. The porch light was on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls walk into the house and hear the ambient noise of a TV on in the living room. Shelby walks towards the room, so Toni follows, a little unsure. This is the first time Toni’s been in the living room, so it’s the first time she notices the huge Christmas tree, elegantly decorated with lights and matte ornaments, spotted with homemade ornaments from when Shelby and her brother were kids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was just so… domestic, and normal. “Toni,” Shelby pokes her arm, “You look lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni blinks. Then notices that both Shelby and her dad were staring at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yea, just never had a christmas tree before. It’s beautiful.” Shelby looks fondly and Toni, a soft smile showing one dimple. Toni looks back in wonder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby, can I talk to you a moment?” Dave intervenes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby shakes her head, “Sure, yea. I’ll meet you upstairs?” She directs at Toni, who nods and hesitates a moment before heading up the stairs.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“What’s up?” Shelby sits on the couch next to her dad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to talk to you about Toni.” Oh no. “Has Toni… said anything about her past relationships… or, gosh, made any advances?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh dad. Why are we talking about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart, I see the way Toni looks at you. I know that look, and, well, you’re not like that right? It’s not right, I thought I might… offer to help her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She doesn’t need your help dad.” Shelby says through gritted teeth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby, I just don’t know if I’m comfortable with her being so close to you. It might influence you and that’ll just be a mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A mess, really dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just tell me that she hasn’t… you two haven’t done anything. If anything like that were to happen under my roof, with my daughter…  just promise me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She hasn’t… we haven’t done anything. I promise. Toni’s just a friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Dave looks skeptical, he nods. “Okay. I believe you. I trust that nothing will happen then. That’s all, goodnight Shelby.” He kisses her on the forehead and leaves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby stays on the couch for a few minutes, soaking in everything that happened tonight. A war raged inside her head. She had feelings for Toni, that was painfully obvious, but was it worth being disowned or viewed as problematic? Her heart said yes. Her heart said that Toni was the one, and she’d be stupid to ever let her get away. Before she could change her mind, she heads up the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni?” she calls out, poking her bedroom door open. Inside she finds Toni standing in the middle of the room with a book in her hand. Her face was drawn and hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you read my journal?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Our girls keep getting interrupted... I know I'm a tease ;). I hope the promise of a happy ending is enough to keep y'all reading. Stay tuned!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Christmas Eve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's a fight. Then there's fluff. Cute stuff</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's a bit of a longer chapter! Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shelby widened her eyes. “Toni,” She reached forward, not sure what to do. Toni flinched away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. You know what I thought I could trust you.” There was pain in her voice, and a silent rage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can, Toni please,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a long day. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” Toni shouldered past her, still clutching the book in a death grip. Shelby could do nothing but watch her go, biting her lip. She was overwhelmed with a feeling of regret, of embarrassment and dread. Toni slammed the door on her way out, rumbling through Shelby and leaving her distraught. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She goes to sit on her bed, putting her head in her hands and leaning back. In a fit of frustration she throws all but one pillow across the room, hitting walls and knocking a picture to the ground with a slam. She lets out a huff and a tear rolls down her cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’ll figure it out in the morning. Everything will work out. She takes a few deep breaths and lies awake for an hour before finally drifting off, exhausted and nervous.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Shelby wakes up an hour before her alarm was set to go off. After convincing herself that she just has to get through this conversation and things will go back to normal, she gets up and pulls on a hoodie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she doesn’t know what to do. Was she to go to Toni’s room? Was Toni coming here? Were they talking downstairs or-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s saved from worrying by a knock at the door. Then a whole new set of worries settled in and her heart started racing. “Come in.” Her voice was shaky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni opened the door, the first thing Shelby noticed was that the book was not in her hands. The second was that Toni had chosen to wear her own army sweats instead of the clothes Shelby left out for her. That was disheartening. Shelby gestured for her to sit at the desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni moved stealthily and sat down, face blank. “Talk.” She said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby sat on her bed, cross legged, facing Toni. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before starting. “It was the first day we met. You left your truck, you said I could have it if I wanted, so I jimmied it open and looked around. By the way it smells like Takis in there,” Shelby smiles, trying to lighten the mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni deadpans ahead, unimpressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, um, I looked in the glove box and found your book. I didn’t know what it was so I took it home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And read it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t going to. I tried to stop-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What don’t you understand about DO NOT READ!” Toni was raising her voice, an angry tint coloured her face. Shelby scooted back, getting scared. “What gave you the right to invade my privacy like that! I left you the truck. I thought you’d have enough decency to respect my belongings.” Toni was pacing now, too mad to sit still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you wouldn’t write! I thought you would forget about me and I was curious about the strange army girl! I wanted to know more about you.” Shelby was pleading now, “I’m sorry Toni, I am so so sorry. I shouldn’t have read it. Please forgive me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni stood silently fuming. Shelby stared back, afraid but not backing down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the phone rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment both girls were still, then Shelby looked away from Toni and picked up the phone. “Hello?” A pause. “Yea she’s here. One second.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looks expectantly at her. Shelby bites her lip. “It’s for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni’s expression instantly went from anger to confusion. Who could be calling her through Shelby’s number? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held out her hand and hated that when their fingers brushed she still got a rush of pleasant tingling. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Toni holds the phone and glares at Shelby until she leaves, then she raises the phone to her ear. “Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shalifoe! What took you so long to answer?” Dot’s voice rings out, instantly changing Toni’s mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dot? Oh my God. Nevermind about that, how are you? How did you get this number?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I caught a peek of that note Shelby sent you and memorized the number, remember when the picture fell out. Military memory and all that”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh.” Toni’s skeptical but goes along with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um. So I’m good, I’m here with Mateo, we’re staying in this cute little motel, very cottage like. So romantic.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you Dot, you deserve it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Toni, I’m really happy. Mateo’s such a sweetheart. Like where was he all my life? He does this cute thing where he strokes my cheek before kissing me. Then he pins me against a wall.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dot! Oh I did not need to know that.” Toni recoils, laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re my best friend, who else am I going to tell. Speaking of, how’s it going with you know who?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni sighs, “We’re in a bit of a fight.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After hanging up the phone, Toni braces herself and leaves Shelby’s room. She peeks around walls and in rooms looking for a blonde head but doesn’t find her anywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni goes out the front door and starts to walk down the steps when she hears a voice behind her. “Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was sitting on the porch swing, legs drawn up to rest against her chest. Toni goes and sits beside her, expression more calm than before. “That was Dot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. How is she?” Shelby responds, careful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. She’s with Mateo and they’re… having fun.” Toni smirks. Shelby smiles in return, hoping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still mad, about before.” Toni says. Shelby’s smile falters. “But, Dot convinced me to offer temporary peace. It’s just… I’ve never had a good Christmas. It was always my foster parents getting a bunch of new toys for their kids, I’d get a pair of socks and a candy cane if anything. And I don’t even really care about the presents, I just never had a family to celebrate with. When I was with Reagan, who you know about, we broke up a few weeks before christmas. I never got to make ornaments or hang lights or wake up Christmas morning excited to run downstairs. Every time I passed a storefront advertising for the holidays or a holiday song came on the radio I would get angry and hide away. I figured I should try and let myself enjoy at least one Christmas before heading out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby had a tear running down her cheek. “Toni, I’m so sorry. I’m going to use this peace period to give you the best Christmas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni grabs her hand. “It’ll be okay. Did you have any questions, about what you read?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby thinks back to what she found in the journal so many months ago. Toni was starting to open up to her, and she didn’t want to scare her away, but Toni was asking her if she had questions so she must be willing to answer something.“Just… do you still think that… do you still hope you get shot? Do you still think that way?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni gulps. “Ah. that.” Shelby focuses on Toni’s hand in hers. “I haven’t thought that way in a while. Not since I started writing to you, and since I met Dot. I’d take a bullet for her in a heartbeat, but… no. I don’t hope I die over there. I think there’s more for me in the future.” She looks up at Shelby through long lashes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad to hear it.” Shelby responds, gulping herself. “Well. Let’s get this Christmas started shall we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Shelby pulls Toni by the hand into the kitchen. She couldn’t be more happy that Toni was giving her a kind of second chance. She wasn’t going to waste it. She was going to spend this time proving to Toni that she was worth forgiving in full. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re we doing?” Toni asked as Shelby rummaged through pantries and started pulling out supplies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We. Are making gingerbread cookies.” Shelby says, head in a cupboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait really?” Toni asks, getting excited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we decorate them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Shelby rolls her eyes playfully. “Can’t just leave them naked now can we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni laughs and Shelby feels hope bubbling up. “No, we can’t.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The oven dings and the girls jump up from where they were sitting on the couch watching a movie. Wafts of gingerbread wisp through the house, sneaking around corners and arousing their senses. Shelby takes them out of the oven and inhales deeply. “Oh they smell perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They look perfect too,” Toni stares at the perfectly shaped gingerbread people, all lined up neatly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We just got to wait for them to cool. In the meantime, we can set up the decorating table.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Toni was having a blast. She had already made 10 cookies, all with various faces and clothes. Shelby had finished all of hers and was now leaning over Toni’s shoulder, watching her decorate the last one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What should I put on it?” Toni asks, picking up an icing tube. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Shelby puts her hand down on the table. “I think you should give it glasses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yea?” Toni picks up the cookie and starts piping some rectangular glasses onto the head, then quickly turns and pipes icing onto Shelby’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby squeals and whips her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni watches the head of her cookie fly across the room and shatter on the floor. Her mouth went wide in shock. “You killed Marcus!” She looks at Shelby, eyes wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You named the cookie?!” Shelby asks, bent over in laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! He was my favourite! And you knocked his head off like the Queen of hearts.” At this point Shelby was on the ground, cackling. Toni grabs the icing bag and quickly pins the other girl. Shelby was weak with laughter and couldn’t fight the strength of a soldier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni starts drawing a moustache with the pink tube on Shelby’s face, but Shelby was squirming so much it looked like one of those whacky cartoon moustaches. Toni giggles and rolls off, lying on the floor beside Shelby. The front door squeaks open and the girls look at each other and break into another fit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s mom walks in and takes in the scene. “What’s going on?” She says, clearly amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Making cookies,” Shelby gets out between giggles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright girls, just make sure you clean up.” Her mom leaves, shaking her head and laughing at their antics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni sighs and sits up. “Marcus’ head is powder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rest in peace.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni smiles and stands up, pulling Shelby to her feet. “We should probably clean up now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea. I’m gonna go wash my face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good idea, you look like Yosemite Sam from Looney tunes.” There was a new light in Toni’s eyes, a happiness that Shelby was grateful for. The girl deserves some happiness.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>That night, the Goodkind family and Toni all sat in the living room telling stories. The fireplace crackled in the hearth, warm light glowing and making the room feel cozy. Toni and Shelby were on opposite ends of the couch, Toni’s feet up in the middle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s parents were on the other sofa, Dave’s arm around his wife. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember Shelby once wanted to learn how to knit, so she tried making a sweater for the dog- Charlie. He’s old now, and went with Shelby’s brother when he moved out. He’s actually coming over for dinner tomorrow. Anyway she managed to actually make something that kind of resembled like a head band? She was so proud of what she made she wore it to school and showed everyone how it could serve as a headband, a belt, a neckwarmer or a ‘fashionable bra.’ Then the teacher called me and said my daughter was going to demonstrate for the whole class-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay mom you can stop now,” Shelby was bright red, Toni was giddy, laughing at all the little anecdotes her parents were telling her. So much ammunition for teasing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is this what a normal family looked like? A normal Christmas? For once she felt as if she were a part of the festivities, welcome in conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nearing 10:30 when Shelby’s parents decided to head to bed. “Don’t stay up too late,” Dave said. “Goodnight girls.” His eyes lingered on Shelby for a moment before he turned and headed up the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby hoped Toni didn’t notice, and was relieved when Toni shifted her legs. Then she felt cold feet sliding against her back and she shrieked. “Ah!! Toni!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” The other girl said, feigning innocence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your feet are freezing! There’s a fireplace right there,” Shelby squirmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re like a furnace, and you’re right here. This way I can keep my feet up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you weren’t a guest here I’d throw your feet in the fire myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woahhhh violent, and you’d never get there cause I’d tackle you first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh would you now?” Shelby questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed I would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna test that theory?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would but my feet are just getting warm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby smacks her leg. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay so there was more fluff in this chapter to make up for what I'm gonna do next.... hehe. Stay tuned, only a few chapters left!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Christmas day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for not posting yesterday, I hope you enjoy this long chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Toni! Toni! Wake up!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni sits up in bed, alert and assessing the situation. Someone was banging on her door. “Toni it’s Christmas!” Shelby’s childish excitement amused Toni, but she couldn’t help also feeling a rush of excitement herself. She whipped the covers off and pulled on one of Shelby’s hoodies and her own sweatpants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coming!” She yells, tucking a small box into her pocket and opening the door. Shelby was wide awake, still in fuzzy PJ pants and a tank top. She beams when Toni opens the door, squealing and grabbing her hand.Toni smiles and lets herself be dragged down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay so first Dad makes smiley face pancakes, then we open presents by the tree.” They round the corner at the bottom of the stairs into a room full of activity. Dave was at the stove, pouring batter onto a sizzling pan, Shelby’s mom was cutting berries at the counter and talking to another man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cody!” Shelby lets go of Toni’s hand and rushes to hug him. After a moment she turns around. “Cody, this is Toni. Toni, this is my brother Cody.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah the soldier. I’ve heard a lot about you. Shelby never shuts up about you when we’re on the phone” Shelby blushes and hits him. Cody chuckles and extends his hand to Toni, who walks forward to shake it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you,” Toni smiles, Cody seems warm, and he and Shelby seem close. Cody was tall, with blonde hair cropped close to his head. His smile was inviting and Toni found herself warming to him already, which was not something she was used to feeling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You as well, I hope you feel welcome here.” Their mom beckoned for Cody to help her with something. “Talk later?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni nods and then Shelby was there pulling her to the table just as the family started placing dishes. There was a huge stack of pancakes in the middle, all perfectly circular with a smile cut out. He must have used a stencil. The strawberries and blueberries add a splash of fresh colour, syrup and whipped cream to top it off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni loaded up on everything, impressing Cody. “So Toni, tell me about basic. I considered enlisting a few years ago but Dad talked me into business.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni shined at the prospect of someone taking an interest in her and what she did. Between mouthfuls, she described the type of training, school, eating habits, “But really the important thing is that the people you meet there are your friends for life. The camaraderie and bonds you form with your platoon or your unit make it all worth it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like you’ve done well for yourself,” Cody says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni thinks back to all the crap she went through before enlisting. “Yea, I guess I have.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After breakfast, the girls were sitting on the couch. Toni was admiring the large tree again while Shelby caught up with her brother. Then their parents walked in, finished with the dishes. “Alright kids, present time.” Jane points to the five stockings on the fireplace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby stands up and goes to collect her stocking, her brother doing the same. “You coming?” Shelby asks Toni.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get one too?” She asks, chest warming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, come!” She holds out her hand. “It was my mom’s idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looks at Jane with, for the first time, genuine thanks. “Thank you Mrs. Goodkind. You have no idea how much this means to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane smiles and puts her hand over her heart. She sits next to her husband while Toni turns back around to peek at the stocking. “Poor child,” she sighs, Dave turning to her and contemplating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni brings the large sock back to the couch and takes things out one at time. First she pulls out a few packs of gum. “Oh this is great, I had to quit smoking when I joined the army and the only thing that helps with cravings is this. Thank you,” Toni smiles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave chuckles, “maybe you could get Shelby to stop. Those things are bad for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby rolls her eyes, “I’m trying to quit dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni pulls out some strong hair ties, deodorant and a mini flashlight. “Cool!” Toni exclaims.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to get you so it’s just a few small general things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mrs. Goodkind please, don’t apologize. This is perfect. Plus you’ve already beaten my parents and all the foster parents I've had combined.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby looks at Toni sadly, but glad that she was warming to her mom. She silently thanked her mom for being so kind and getting Toni some things. </span>
</p><p><span>Toni pulls the last item out, a bag of Takis.</span><span><br/></span> <span>“Yo! I haven’t had these in forever! Oh my goodness Mrs. Goodkind I love you.” Toni exclaims, making everyone laugh as she rips the bag open and starts inhaling them.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Woah Toni slow down,” Shelby nudges her with a foot, now up on the couch, laughing. Toni looks at her like a deer in headlights, a taki in hand as she swallows a mouthful. Shelby grins, making Toni smile. This. This is what Christmas is supposed to feel like. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Shelby jumps. “I have something for you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni softens “Oh you didn’t have to get me anything, either of you,” She looks at Jane, “Seriously,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby slides a small box over to her. “We wanted to give you the Christmas you deserve.” Toni fights tears as she opens the lid to a box with a sleek black watch. “I did some research and found out you’re allowed to wear a watch during duty, so I found one, heavy duty so it shouldn’t break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s beautiful,” Toni says, pulling it out and admiring the way it absorbs the light. “I don’t know what to say, thank you isn’t enough.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it is,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not. So I got you something too.” Toni digs the box out of her pocket and lightly tosses it at Shelby. At this point Shelby’s parents were talking with Cody, paying the girls no mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Shelby asks softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby opens the box and gasps, it was a thin gold snake-chain necklace. Simple but elegant. “Toni I can’t accept this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you can. You let me live with you for a week, you wrote to me when I had no one else, this is a small token of my appreciation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby, still in shock, looks at her mom. “Mom, look,” She holds up the chain, afraid to touch it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, that’ll go great with your yellow dress in the next pageant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby looks back at Toni. “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much. I’m gonna run it upstairs to keep it safe.” She leans over and kisses Toni’s cheek before running upstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni thanked the heavens no one saw that, or the blush that creeped up on her cheeks a moment after.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Just before dinner when the girls were munching on their cookies and finishing up a movie, Cody asks to talk to Shelby. Confused, she untangles her legs from Toni’s on the couch and shrugs at the other girl before following Cody upstairs and into his old bedroom, left exactly the same. He shuts the door and turns to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like her,” he says. When Shelby doesn’t respond, he says “you love her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit. Shelby sits down on his bed. “You can’t tell dad, he’ll-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to tell him, but also who gives a crap about what he thinks. You love her, she clearly loves you.” Shelby sits up straight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re an idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She likes me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my goodness Shelby, it's written all over your face, both your faces. The tension between you two is so thick I’m surprised dad hasn’t picked up on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby gulps. “Well he talked to me when Toni first came, he asked me if Toni tried anything with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You deserve to be happy, I know you care what he thinks but this is your life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby starts shaking her head, “I don’t know Cody. He’s dad, he can… do things, send me places.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or, he’ll see how happy she makes you and learn to accept it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t see that happening. I’m sorry, I-, I don’t know.” Shelby brushes herself off and leaves Cody gazing after her, hurting for his sister. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After a huge turkey dinner and stuffing in dessert, Toni and Shelby head out for a night walk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni has her jacket zipped up tight against the wind, Shelby in her own winter jacket and leggings. There’s about a foot of snow piled up on the grass but the roads were all clear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a park around here with an alcove if the wind gets too bad.” Shelby says, hands tucked in her pockets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni’s breath clouds in front of her, she blows it out in a line, remembering the cigarettes she used to smoke. She pops a piece of gum in her mouth. They walk in comfortable silence, reaching the clearing in under a half hour. They trudge through the snow to get to the swingset in the middle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni gets on the swing and immediately starts trying to swing as high as she can. Shelby, sensing competition, starts to do the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t beat me, I’m a soldier” Toni grunts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can try,” Shelby grunts back. They’re basically flying through the air, up and down, up and down. They’re going so fast they can’t tell who’s beating who, then Shelby loses grip on the chain and flies face first into the snow 10ft ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Toni notices the swing beside her is empty, she digs her heel into the ground on the way down and sprints to the Shelby shaped hole in the snow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby! Are you okay?” Shelby was shaking, “Shelby oh my God please be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby rolls over, face red from the cold but laughing so hard no sound comes out. “You asshole I thought you were hurt!” But Toni can’t help laughing as well. Shelby catches her breath and lets out another giggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was scared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, it was cute.” Shelby grins, Toni frowns. On her way standing up she shoves a fistful of snow down Toni’s back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you jerk!” Toni squirms, “ooohh that’s cold,” She laughs while shaking out her jacket. Shelby stands a few steps away, holding in laughter. “Oh you think that’s funny do you?” She quickly packs a snowball and throws it with perfect accuracy at Shelby’s stomach with enough force to give an ‘oomph’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What followed was an all out snowball fight, both girls left sweaty. Shelby lets out a cough. “Okay I concede. You’re in way better shape.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn right,” Toni laughs, then goes towards Shelby and picks her up by the legs, folding her over her shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni! Put me down!” She laughs, lightly hitting Toni on the back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Toni says simply. Shelby gives up fighting and gives in, enjoying the ride. Then Toni lays her down in a new patch of snow and lays down a few feet away. “The wind has stopped, the stars are out.” Toni says, starting to swing her arms and legs to make a snow angel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby smiles and starts doing the same. She enjoys the calm of the night, the sound of Toni breathing, the complexity of the sky above somehow seems simple now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After laying in their snow angels for a bit, it begins to hail. “Oh crap,” Toni exclaims, climbing up and helping Shelby with a hand. They rush to the alcove, giggling while covering their heads. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once safe from the storm, they relax on the hard dirt ground and lean against a wooden wall, catching their breath. Toni looks to the side and notices Shelby is shivering. She sheds her coat without a second thought and wraps it around the other girl’s shoulders. “Thanks,” she whispers, patting the space beside her for Toni to sit. Then she lays her head on Toni’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Toni says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For giving me a good Christmas. No, not good. Amazing, perfect. Better than anything i could have asked for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby snuggles in closer, entwining their fingers. Her actions saying things she couldn’t say out loud. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After the hail stopped the girls decided to head back before the weather got worse again. Shelby was still wearing the army jacket when they stepped in the door, heat instantly warming their frozen faces. The house was silent save for the ticking of the clock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They take off their boots and Toni helps Shelby out of the two jackets, hanging hers up on the stair post to take up to her room later. Toni points to the kitchen, “just gonna get a glass of water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could use one too,” Shelby says and follows Toni, who stops abruptly in the doorway. Shelby bumps into her back. “Hey, what’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looks up, Shelby follows her gaze and sees that someone hung a mistletoe in the doorway. The air in the room suddenly went flat. Toni turned around, eyes dark. Shelby stood still, conflicting thoughts in her head. Toni placed her hand on her arm and leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek, right in the little divet of her dimple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s thoughts went quiet, feeling Toni’s lashes flutter against her cheek. Toni lingered, Shelby sighed and began to turn her head to fit their mouths together but she caught a sight of movement at the top of the stairs and jumped back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni just stood there, under the mistletoe, and Shelby panicked. Fearing her dad she spurted his words “You can’t do that here… under this roof, it’s not right.” Shut up Shelby. “I mean, my dad- he,” But Toni interrupted her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look I get if you don’t like me that way. I can deal with that. But saying it’s not right… I thought you were different.” Toni doesn’t look angry, just hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am different- I didn't mean-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re not are you, you’re just like the rest of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni pushes past her and runs up the stairs. Shelby backs against the wall, covering her face. “Fuck. fuck” She whispers. She fucked up big time. She let her dad get in her head, she didn’t mean any of that. Not a word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She heard footsteps on the stairs and Toni stormed past her with her bag, grabbing her coat on the way. Shelby started panicking, she couldn’t let Toni leave, not like this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni it’s cold. Toni wait, please I didn’t mean it.” Shelby tries to grab her arm to force her to stay but she let go when she saw Toni’s face, a single tear running gently down. The face of someone who’d been through so much only to keep being hurt. “Toni,” Shelby whispered. The other girl left without a word, leaving the front door open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby watched as the girl she loved walked away from her without looking back.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I GAVE YOU LOTS OF FLUFF<br/>I swear that's the last kiss tease<br/>I also promise that they get their happiness, just hang in there :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Longing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toni arrives back at base and reunites with Dot, Cody talks with Shelby who is struggling.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Toni sits at the bus station back at the base, watching buses come through and drop off soldiers ready for duty. Her mind was blank, for the sake of clarity and the ability to do her job she blocked out the past few days while interacting with people. All she allowed to remain was the memory of Shelby dancing with her, beautiful and happy, except in this memory when their noses bumped, the lights never came on and Shelby kissed her, slow and confident. Toni closed her eyes and tried not to let the emotion draw her into another breakdown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of an engine arriving pulled her out of her head and she watched as another busload of soldiers filed out, then she saw Dot. “Oh thank God,” Toni rushed up and hugged her tight. Dot wrapped her arms around the smaller girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Shalifoe, I missed you,” Dot says, smiling. Then she feels Toni shaking, “Hey, hey, you okay?” Dot pulls her over to a nearby tree and sits them down. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni straightens herself out and wipes a tear from her cheek, then tells Dot everything. “After I left I caught the next bus and spent a few nights in a motel before coming here. God I need a shower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Dot wrinkles her nose, then turns to Toni sincerely. “But seriously Toni, there’s no way that girl doesn’t love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter anyway. Even if she did she’s too afraid of her dad and Jesus to accept it. Nothings gonna happen. You’re my only friend now.” Toni leans her head on Dot’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t go falling in love with me cause I’ll have to break your heart.” Dot chuckles, causing Toni to smile. </span>
</p><p><span>“Right, how was your week with Mateo?”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“Oh it was amazing, he gets another day before he’s deployed. We talked a lot, and did other stuff, but it was just really fun and I really like him.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you Dot, I hope it works out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. And hey, if Shelby doesn’t come to her senses and realize what an amazing person she’s given up I will go *sternly* talk to her and then find someone better for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni laughs and wipes her nose. “Thanks Dot, should we go get our assignments now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we should.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>There was a knock at her door. “Shelby?” Cody says, squeaking the door open. “Shelby it’s been three days and you’ve barely moved.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her brother walks slowly into the dark room. The curtains were closed, the lights were off, plates with morsels of leftovers were scattered around. Shelby lay underneath a heap of blankets, not moving. Cody sat on the side of the bed, shaking her shoulder. “Shelby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She grumbles to let him know she’s awake. “Can you at least tell me what happened? Maybe we can fix it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t.” Her voice was scratchy and raw, it broke her brother’s heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we can, what happened,” He said, crawling under the covers and drawing her close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard Shelby take a deep, shaky breath before starting the story. “I’m such an idiot. What if I never see her again? What if that’s the last memory she has of me and resents me forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think she could ever resent you. She’ll come back. And if she doesn’t, we’ll go find her. Do you know where she’ll be?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She gets her assignment today. I don’t know when she gets shipped out or where she’ll be stationed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So she could be at the base for a while, why don’t you try writing her a letter?” Cody urges, trying to think of anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I doubt she’d ever get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if she doesn’t, you can still get things off your chest, and you could give her the letter when she comes back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hope in Cody’s voice encouraged her. Shelby looked up at him. “You really think it’s a good idea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couldn’t hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby thinks about it for a minute. There were so many things on her mind, it might be good to write them down. Slowly she gets out of bed, tangled hair and rumpled pajamas from the day before enjoying the freedom of being out of a bed. She moves over to her desk and avoids looking at the letters from Toni in her drawer, reaching for a piece of paper and a pencil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cody starts to walk out of the room. “Thank you,” She whispers as he closes the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If you see this letter please don’t immediately throw it out. I was wrong, I was so wrong and I didn’t mean anything I said. I’ve loved you since that day in the forest. There’s no one else for me, I mean it. I’ll spend the rest of my life waiting for you, even if you move on I will wait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night… my dad got in my head. Those were his words, not mine. He’s wrong and I’ll spend however long it takes telling him otherwise. I’m ready to stand up to him now and I’m so sorry you got mixed up in my issues. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni you deserve so much better than me, I get that, but if there’s even the slightest chance you can forgive me, please consider it. I care about you Toni. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I need you,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shelby</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Toni and Dot come out of the room with huge smiles on their faces. They walk with proper posture and rhythm but an extra bounce in their steps. “Dude I can’t believe they assigned us overseas,” Dot says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know right. It’s ‘cause we were at the top of basic and AIT. And they need more people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re awesome. I’m so happy I don’t have to go alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too, Do you think we’ll see action?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean probably. I talked to some of the others and they said our station sees heat pretty often.” Dot replies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m kind of excited,” Toni says, bouncing in place. “It just feels like I’m finally doing something with my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot smiles, “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>One week later</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was starting to dig back into her old routine. Being forced to go to work helped keep her mind off things. The letter she sent helped a bit, she only wished Toni would respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a particularly gruelling day serving snobby customers and walking back and forth, Shelby flops down on her bed. Not a minute later, someone knocks on her door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi honey, can I come in?” Shelby’s mom pushes the door open. Shelby waves her arm awkwardly, face down on the bed. Jane walks in and puts something on Shelby’s desk. “It’ll get better honey, she’ll come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby remained still until her mom left. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What was she saying? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shelby sat up, confused, then looked at what her mom put on her desk. There were 2 envelopes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heart racing, she rushed over. On the top was a picture of Toni and her, laughing on the kitchen floor. Shelby had icing all over her face and there was Marcus’ crushed head beside Toni, whose head was thrown back in pure laughter. Shelby was similarly positioned, cracking up. Her mom must have come back and taken a picture after she told them to clean up. A rush of emotion and longing burst up Shelby’s throat and she almost keeled over in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Biting her lip, Shelby tacks it up above her desk, then returns to the envelopes. The top one, she recognized, was the one she sent a week ago, still unopened, a big angry red stamp in the middle. ‘Return to sender.’ Shelby felt the hope drain out of her. Toni never got her letter. Did she see it was from her and deliberately return it? Did it even get past the post sorters? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, she flips to the next letter and her heart stops. She could never mistake this handwriting. Scared, she carefully opened the crisp envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper with a single sentence. Shelby gulped. There was no return address, no acknowledgement of her or anything that happened. Just one sentence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been deployed. Won’t be able to write for a while.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Longing pt 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The base where Dot and Toni are stationed is under attack, while Shelby can only hope for news.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>2 weeks later. </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni was awoken by the sound of gunshots. She immediately sat up from her cot, unfazed. This was what she was trained for. The room with a dozen soldiers neatly gathers supplies in an orderly fashion, eerily quiet. Toni heads out right behind Dot. Less than a mile away something blows up, causing a burst of light, illuminating the night sky like a firework. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The unit marches over to the commanding officer and is given instructions to group up with another unit and head to the scene. The enemy was trying to breach the perimeter and seemed to be using excessive force. America would retaliate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adrenaline coursed through Toni and the rest of the soldiers as they marche towards the sound of gunshots, occurring more frequently now. The gun strapped around her felt like lead but right now she could be the hulk for all the strength she felt. They reached their destination, lining up single file and all turning towards the enemy. Toni could just make out some figures ahead, moving stealthily in the distance. Something exploded about 60 feet in front of Toni, a wave of heat and dust whipping against her but she stood stiff, blinking the dust out of her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could feel Dot getting tense beside her. “If we don’t make it out of here,” Dot starts whispering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. We’ll be okay. They brought us up for a reason right? We’ll get through this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was an audible pause in the surroundings. For a moment, everyone was still. The cool night air brushed Toni’s cheeks, covered in sweat and dirt. Then it all went to hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The commander yelled “Fire!” And a hundred guns went off in unison, automatic weapons spitting bullets, Toni pulled the trigger before she really understood what was going on. After a minute they stopped. The flashes from all the guns left Toni in a slight state of vision impairment, and she could already feel a blister forming on her finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The commander told them to wait. For a while, silence. Then, grenades. Dozens started exploding in front, behind and in the middle of their line. One blew 20 feet ahead of Toni and the blast knocked her to the ground. Something sharp dug into Toni’s leg and she screamed out in pain. “Fuck!” She felt Dot kneel down to help her. Over the blasts she heard the call to retreat. “Toni we gotta go, they’re coming in stronger than we thought. We’re splitting up and regrouping half on the east half west, then we’re moving in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be there in a second, you go ahead,” Toni was biting her tongue through the pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving you behind!” Dot yelled. An officer ran past them, screaming for them to get up and get back. Toni gave Dot a look, Dot helped her stand and as they were making their way back another grenade exploded, separating the two. All Toni could do was lie face down and cover her head as hell rained down. She couldn’t hear anything, the blasts rendering her sense temporarily useless. There was so much smoke in the air her eyes stung when she tried opening them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot must have gone back, and for the first time Toni prayed that if anything was out there watching over them that they’d make sure Dot got back safely. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <b>One day later</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shelby had just gotten home from work. She shrugged her jacket off, made a cup of tea and sat in front of the TV, relaxing. It was a cold day, a stinging wind followed her home and just from the car to the front door made her face red as a tomato. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was almost 11 and her program was just finishing when the phone rang. Shelby rushed over to quiet it before it woke up her parents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?!” She whispered accusingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking, who is this?” She asked, not recognizing the voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Dot. Dot Campbell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s heart sank. Why would Dot be calling her? Wasn’t she deployed? “Hi Dot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot audibly gulped on the other side. “It’s Toni,” she said, voice cracking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby sank into the chair, worst case scenarios running through her head. Oh God. She would never see Toni again, never get to give her that letter. Toni hated her. When Shelby didn’t respond, Dot breathed and continued. “Yesterday the base was attacked, we were on the front lines. We were given the order to split and regroup when things started getting bad and we got separated. She, God she got hit with a piece of shrapnel or something and I tried- I tried helping her but we got blasted apart and I couldn’t find her and then someone grabbed me and dragged me away. We eventually won the fight and drove them back but by the time that happened the battle had moved a few miles away. It’s my fault- I should have held on tighter.” Dot starts to cry on the other line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby herself feels her heart fall to the floor and she has trouble moving. Every word was a punch to the stomach. She managed to get out “Are you okay? Where are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I broke my wrist so they wrapped me up and sent me home with the others that were injured. The fightings getting bad, Shelby. They have no mercy.” A pause and a sad sigh, “Toni could be out there all alone and hurt, they always send recovery teams out for missing soldiers but what if they don’t find her, or what if she’s already…” Dot couldn’t finish the sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was silently crying herself. “She’s strong. She can hold out until the rescue team comes,” Shelby doesn’t know if she’s more trying to persuade herself or the soldier. “We can’t consider the alternative. Not yet.” Her words were strong but she didn’t believe them. Somehow two girls from different sides of the the same high school were brought together in mutual grief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot sniffles. “I guess so. Oh I have to go. I just thought you should know, Toni cared about you, and despite what happened I know you still care about her. Anyway, take care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line went dead and Shelby was left alone in the silent house, tears streaming down her cheeks as she replayed the conversation in her head. Then she prayed.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><span><br/>
</span> <span>“Fucking hell,” Toni winced as she rolled into a shallow pond, whimpering when her injured leg submerges. Somehow during the night she made it past the perimeter of camp and into a dense wooded area. When she started leaving the battlefield she was alone, the whole camp was out and chasing th enemy.</span></p><p>
  <span>The cold water felt good on her injury, soothing. Once her leg went numb with cold, which was ultimately better than numb with pain, she limped over to the other side, cupped the water with her hands and brought it up to drink. She felt it wash away the layer of dust coating her throat, quenching her intense thirst.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once refreshed, Toni leaned back against a tree and sighed. When daybreak had come Toni was both scared and relieved. Scared because the enemy could see her more clearly, but relieved because she could see where she was going, and her friends might be able to find her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shrapnel in her leg was still there, and Toni was worried about infection. She peeled back part of her ripped pants around the cut and saw that it was okay so far- bruised but not oozing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni dug in her pockets, finding what she was looking for. Shelby stared at her through the shiny film of a photo. If Toni tried hard enough she could almost imagine that she was there in the forest with Shelby. The location in the picture looked similar to where she was now, Toni found this funny and began to laugh. How ironic. It was almost as if the universe was taunting her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni breathes a little harder and starts talking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You hurt me,” She said to the picture. “You hurt me and I hate you for it but I also can’t help that I love you. God you're infuriating.” She could picture Shelby crying, silently suffering while Toni yelled at her but chuckling at that, “I hate that I miss your smile and I hate that I still want you after what you did to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While her ranting brought up intolerable frustration, anger and longing it was distracting from the physical pain in her leg. “Shelby,” Toni sobbed. Leaning her head back against the tree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The anger returned and she felt it turn into to her life force. With newfound energy, Toni stood up and limped out of the forest, trying to see if she could spot any rescue teams. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would survive, if only to spite the other girl. When she got out of here, she would write one last letter, saying how she didn’t need her. She always worked best alone and that hasn’t changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her thoughts turned to Dot, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please let Dot be okay, she deserves the world</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Toni keeps Dot, and her thoughts about Shelby on her mind as she trudges through dirt, around craters and trenches and into the open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighs in relief when she spots a team a mile away, running towards her. Then she faints.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all the support! I may even post another chapter tonight :) almost at the end now!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Recovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's a bit short but I need to sleep and I wanted to post lol, I think there's only gonna be two more chapters so enjoy :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Toni woke up two days later in a hospital. Bright lights invaded her eyes and she had to squint to see anything. There was a clip on her finger and an IV in her arm, giving her fluids. She took in her surroundings, the room was painted a light shade of yellow, there was another bed with an older man coughing a few feet beside her. On her other side was a door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Screw this. Toni shifted her weight to swing her feet to the ground but a jolt of pain shot through her leg. She gasped and put all her weight on her arms instead. A nurse rushed in, a short woman with a kind smile. Gross, happy people. “Good, you’re awake, just lay back we have to do a check.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni sneered, just wanting to leave but her bugger of a leg prevented her from moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sat back. A doctor came in and shook her hand, then proceeded to shine a light in her eyes, check her reflexes, breathing, and lastly, her leg. “You got lucky with that injury, you had a small infection contained to the wound so we have you on antibiotics for now but it should clear up in a few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few days? I’m stuck here?” Toni grumbled, not caring about being rude. She was tired and hungry and just wanted to go. “Where am I anyway? Who brought me here?” She didn’t remember anything after passing out in the field. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re at liberty hospital in Missouri. Um, there’s a woman here to see you, a drill sergeant Klein?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni rolls her eyes. “Yea, can she tell me what happened?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll bring her in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A minute later the familiar DI walks in the door, proudly in uniform. She sits in the chair beside Toni. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what happened?” Toni asks her, not really wanting to talk but curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was briefed by the commanding officer at the scene, with a recount by Campbell they were able to piece most of it together.  After you two got separated, the fight continued but moved a few miles west. The army was able to drive back the enemy forces but since they had moved so far away it took longer for a rescue team to get back and call in support. You passed out just as they found you and medevaced you here two days ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been out for two days?” Toni exclaims, shaking her head. “Where’s Dot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s healing from a mild injury back in Georgia.” Gretchen kept a straight face but Toni could tell she did feel a little sympathy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I see her?” Toni asked, pleading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure exactly what restrictions she is under. I can try and set up a phone call if you’d like,” her tone was a little softer now. The hard DI from basic training now a respected comrade. Toni nodded. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Toni?” Dot whispered through the phone, all of her hope in that one word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Campbell?” Toni smiles so wide her face hurts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hot damn you made it,” Her tone was joking but the crack in her voice betrayed the waterfall of relief and emotion pouring out. Toni couldn’t judge because her reaction was similar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you we would,” Toni says, holding in a sob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did, you really did.” Dot says, sighing. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yours too. They’re keeping me in this dingy hospital. Everyone’s so happy. I just want to leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot chuckles, “Glad to hear you haven’t lost your charm.” Toni smiles. “Speaking of, are you gonna go see her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno. I doubt she’d care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you what she said right? You heard it right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did, but I think you should give her another chance.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni huffed. “I’ll think about it. How are you doing? What happened? Are you staying in Georgia?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah Shalifoe slow down. I’m good, recovering from a broken wrist. Fuckin thing takes forever to heal. I’m being shipped to Missouri to help with administration of new recruits until I’m ready to get back out there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well hey I’m in Missouri now, we can meet up when you come. I’m being released tomorrow unless something changes. I’m off duty until my leg heals and then I’m to report back for evaluation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good. This is what we signed up for right? I wanna see you. Dang I’m being cut off. Take care Shalifoe, I’m so happy you’re okay. See you soon”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too Campbell, take care.” The line went dead and Toni sighed in relief. The phone call alone lifted the weight of the world off her shoulders. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The next day, Toni signed discharge papers and met with an officer to discuss her return to duty, payment during time off, therapy arrangements and requirements of returning. “You have a plan?” The officer asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Yes sir. I have a place back in Minnesota.” She was definitely not going back to Minnesota. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay good. Take care soldier. We hope to see you back soon.” The man left Toni alone in her shared room. The nurse came in to finalize everything and give Toni a bag with her clothes. She pulled on the ripped, bloody pants and dirty top. She was instantly transported back overseas, where she was alone and afraid in the middle of the forest. Even though she was on pain meds, a phantom of hurt coarse through her leg right under her healing stitches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She calmed her racing heart with some breathing exercises the nurse taught her, slipped on her dog tags and boots, then stood on shaky legs. “You’re sure there’s no one we can call to pick you up?” The nurse asked, helping Toni into a wheelchair to wheel her out- hospital policy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni shook her head, stuffing her hands in her pockets. Her fingers brush something, and she pulls out a photo. It’s dusty and there’s a few drops of blood on the edges but Toni knows instantly what it is. She runs her fingers over the photo, the girl who got this photo in the mail months ago was a different soldier than Toni was now. So much has changed, yet she was still holding this photo in her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni bites her lip. She would take a bus to the closest motel and crash. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Shelby sat on the couch in her treehouse. It was nearly seven and the sun was just beginning to set. She’d been coming here a lot since Dot called her, reliving her and Toni’s first conversation. Simpler times. She clutched the picture her mom took of her and Toni to her chest. She carried it everywhere now, praying for Toni, that she was safe- even if she hated her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was ripped from her thoughts by the sound of someone climbing up the ladder to her space. What the heck? No one knew about this place, unless it was some park ranger or-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trapdoor opened and a tanned face popped up from below.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni?”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Almost there readers! I'm excited to write the next chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wowee this chapter turned out long. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shelby watched, wide eyed as Toni emerged from below, looking worse for wear. Her clothes were torn and bloody, her expression pained. “I didn’t know where else to go,” She rasped out, leaning on her left leg. “Um, I’ll just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was kissing her before she realized she left the couch. She backed Toni against the trunk of the tree and her mind went blank. Toni was stunned for a second before responding in kind, placing her hand on Shelby’s hip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby pulls back and looks Toni in the eyes, she could see a newfound energy in her previously weary expression. “Should we talk…?” Shelby whispers, there was so much to say. She looked in Toni’s eyes again and saw that her pupils were blown, dark as the night sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni’s voice was deep and sultry when she said “In a minute,” and pulled Shelby forward by the hip. The second kiss was slower, Toni moved her lips, closing her eyes. Shelby gasped when Toni poked her tongue out and pressed even closer, sighing in relief and heartache. Toni cupped her face and tilted it, deepening it even further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once out of breath, Toni leaned back and pressed her forehead to Shelby’s. Shelby was crying, Toni wiped her tear away and pulled Shelby by the hand to the couch. “Now we should talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby nodded, wiping away her own tears now. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry for what I did to hurt you, I never meant to… it’s just that’s how I was raised and I thought my dad saw and I said those things, those horrible things. I wrote you a letter but it got returned.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I must have been deployed by then,” Toni says, leaning against the armrest, arms crossed against her chest. While Toni was still reveling in the minute before, all the emotions from the past few weeks rushed back, conflicting thoughts fighting in her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby nods. “Don’t you want to yell at me?” She sniffles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I yelled at a picture of you, so no need.” Toni runs her fingers over the picture still in her pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You… what?” Shelby lets herself half smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I was over there, waiting for the rescue team, I pulled out this picture of you.” Toni hands the bloody picture to Shelby, who gulps. “I yelled at it, I hated you for what you did, but I hated myself more for still wanting you.” Toni shakes her head, “I had this elaborate plan to write this damning letter to make you feel bad and tell you I’m better alone, but it’s not true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s heart aches, more sorry than ever that Toni was considering not even coming to see her. “It’s not?” Shelby whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not. I can’t deny how I felt when I got your letters, when we went to the pageant, and christmas outside in the snow,” Toni pauses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you don’t hate me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah Shelby, I don’t think I have it in me to run away from something that could be good. Plus people don’t warm to me often. So what do you say, should we give it a go.” The hope and fear in Toni’s voice betrays the confidence she’s trying to pull off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll spend the rest of my life telling you how sorry I am,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a yea? What do you mea-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I let you walk out the door once. Never again,” Shelby leans over and kisses her, softly at first. Toni brings her legs up on the couch and sinks down so that Shelby was on top of her, moving slowly, languidly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” Toni asks, she couldn’t imagine what would happen if this was all a joke and Shelby was messing with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure,” Shelby says, leaning back down and pulling her shirt off. She straddles Toni and Toni leans up to do the same but Shelby’s thigh presses into her leg and she winces. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she says, jumping off the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni takes some pained breaths through her teeth. “It’s okay, just fresh.” She beckons for Shelby to come back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby moves carefully over Toni’s leg and settles in against her chest. “I can go get you some clothes,” Shelby says but doesn’t move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow, I’ve had a long day.” Toni yawns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you tell me about what happened over there… to your leg and stuff?” Shelby asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni runs a hand through Shelby’s hair and lightly scratches her scalp. “We still have a lot to talk about,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shhh, tomorrow love. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby shuts up after that, blushing at the endearing term. She closes her eyes to the even rhythm of Toni’s breathing on her muscular yet comfortable chest.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Toni jolts awake. Shelby is shaken and fatigued as she blinks, trying to understand what happened. She heard a large pop and someone cheering, someone was setting off fireworks. Shelby looked over at Toni who was curled up with her hands over her ears, rocking back and forth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” She knelt down in front of her and tried to make eye contact. “Toni it’s okay, it’s okay. You’re safe, they’re fireworks. You’re okay, I promise.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fireworks die down and Toni stays in her position. Shelby keeps her eye contact and moves slowly to make sure Toni didn’t get scared. She sits beside her on the couch and guides Toni’s hands away from her ears. The soldier’s expression was one of terror, panic and distance. “Toni?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni blinks and shakes her head, breathing deeply. “Hey, you’re okay. You're safe, in Missouri.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni shivers and slowly lets her feet down from the couch, leg aching. She looks to the side at Shelby. “Sorry for waking you,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, oh no don’t be sorry. I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Shelby scooches a little closer. Toni curls back up and leans her head into the crook of Shelby’s neck, warm against the cool sheen of sweat on her brow. Shelby rubs her back with a hand and whispers soothing words until she feels Toni’s breathing even out. Shelby couldn’t fall asleep after that.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The rays of a morning sun filtered through the window and lit up the treehouse in bright yellow. Shelby had drifted off, head leaning on the back of the couch. She stirs, stretching her neck and opening her eyes. Toni starts to wake, still curled up with her head on Shelby’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” Shelby whispers, not wanting to break the calm mood. She wasn’t sure how Toni would react, if yesterday was just a rush of emotions and Toni was still mad or something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Toni says, yawning. She braces herself on the couch and pushes upwards, working out the kinks in her leg and neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You hungry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Starving.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My parents are out, we can go back to my house.” She could sense Toni hesitate. The last time she was in that house was not a good memory. “Hey,” Shelby moves towards her. “I promise nothing like that will happen again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby lets Toni come to her and place a sleepy kiss on the corner of her mouth. Shelby almost melted at the sentiment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby climbed out first and spotted Toni as she slowly made her way down the ladder. At the bottom, Shelby slid her hand into Toni’s. While they’d held hands before, this time felt different- evolved. They walked in comfortable silence to where Shelby was parked, then drove  back to Shelby’s house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby walked ahead and opened the door for Toni, who limped in. Shelby made sure she could get to the couch, then ran upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni caught her breath, the morning fog hazing her senses. She thinks about all that happened in the past day and for the first time the gravity of it hits her. She was hospitalized, her leg was injured, she got stitched up and sent off. Toni doesn't remember consciously heading towards Shelby but, like she said, she had no where else to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Shelby kissed her, actually kissed her. It was fast and Toni was shocked for half of it but she couldn’t deny how it made her feel. Then she kissed her slow and steady as if this was the only thing she was sure about. The kiss was mixed with salty tears, which was when Toni pulled away and they started the long conversation that was yet to be finished. For now though, Toni was content to go along with the apologetic, worried Shelby doting on her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speaking of, the blonde came trotting down the stairs with a neat pile of clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you, um, need help taking your pants off?” Shelby felt silly and a blush crept up her neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a day and you’re already trying to get in my pants?” Toni jokes, trying to lighten the mood. Shelby coughs. “Actually yea I could use some help,” Toni wasn’t used to letting people help her. It was a new sensation, both thrilling and terrifying. Shelby keeps her eyes on the floor as she moves over, trying to be respectful. She bites her lip and helps Toni out of the ruined uniform, careful not to let it snag on the stiches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Toni was comfortable in sweatpants and a hoodie, Shelby kissed her on the head and moved into the kitchen to cook breakfast. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Once the plates of bacon and eggs were cleared, Shelby sat on the couch, facing Toni on the chair. The comfortable domestic air was now charged with unsaid sentiments and unasked questions. Toni, huddled under a blanket, says “so…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby wonders about where to start. “So… can I ask about last night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you… okay? I mean, it looked painful, and I felt so helpless. Is there any way I can help? If it happens again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni smiles, “What you did was good. You couldn’t see it but I heard every word. I held on to your voice, it was like a tether. That’s the first time it’s happened, so I was really scared, I didn’t know what to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby listened patiently, when Toni didn’t continue, she asked “did the army give you anything to help? They must be familiar with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They gave me a requisition form to take to a therapist, but I dunno if I’ll end up going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, just if you really need it, will you go? I just hated seeing you like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hated being like that. It felt like I wasn’t in control, I was stuck, and it really sucked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’ll consider it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea.” Another awkward silence. “So… your dad’s a homophobe.” Toni chuckled, getting right into it but Shelby responded with a serious gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t hide us. I won’t hide you. I’m done being afraid of him. When you left that night I realized too late that nothing else mattered but you. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you, and I messed up and I’ll apologize for as long as you’ll have me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was playing with her hands in her lap. “I’m damaged. I get angry and I can’t control it, I have PTSD, I have one friend that I’ll barely get to see and once I’m healed I could be away for months at a time. I just don’t understand why you’d ever want me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby sighed and knelt beside Toni’s chair. “Oh Toni. You’re the realest person I know. You’re honest and true to yourself. You’re my hero, my best friend… I love you Toni.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looks up through her lashes. “You do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby nods. “God knows I do,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni grins, holding out her hand. Shelby takes it, leaning in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Toni whispers.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>A few hours later, the girls were tangled together on the couch, watching a movie. Shelby was playing with Toni’s hands, reveling in the comfort of Toni’s warm form, here and safe. The front door squeaked open and Toni jolted and sat up. “It’s okay,” Shelby says, sitting up but not letting go of Toni’s hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave walks in the room and takes in the scene. “Toni, you’re back,” Dave says, nonchalantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby takes a deep breath. “She got hurt overseas. But she’s back now and… Dad, we’re together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave stands there, hand on the bannister. Toni sits still, holding her breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He seems to work something out in his head, nods, “Toni can I speak to you for a second?” His face is unreadable. Toni looks at Shelby and stands up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby bites her lip. “Dad I don’t think-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright honey. I just want to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Toni says, placing her hand on Shelby’s arm. Shelby nods.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni follows Dave down the hall into a small office, he gestures for her to sit. Toni lowers herself, ready to go off if Dave tried anything funny, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni I wanted to talk to you about my daughter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With all due respect,” Toni started, not meaning that first part, “I would never do anything to hurt her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave holds out a hand. “Look, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When you were deployed she was a mess. I don’t know what happened to you two before you left but she didn’t move for days. I care about my daughter more than anything, and I can’t stand to see her in that much pain. Now I’m not saying I understand what you two have, or that I’ve… accepted it. But that doesn’t man I can’t or that I won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was listening intently, trying to unravel what he was saying. He continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose if I want my daughter with anyone, who better to protect her than a soldier?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My thoughts exactly,” Toni replied, treading lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might take awhile for me to get used to, I can’t promise anything, I believed everything was black and white, but I think I might be able to change.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was conflicted, but despite what Shelby told her she knows she cares what her dad thinks. And for that she was willing to give it a chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate you trying,” Toni says, suddenly feeling like she should be in uniform.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s all, just, if you hurt her…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Thank you for your service soldier. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni awkwardly thanks him, waves and limps back to Shelby who was clearly nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She jumps up from the couch, “What did he say? If he said anything-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no it’s all good. He said he’d give me a chance, and that he sees how much you care about me. He just wants the best for you, and he’ll try to come to terms with,” Toni gestures between them, “This.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby sighs in relief, Toni can tell that her father’s ‘approval’ meant more than she’d let on. Shelby wrapped her arms around Toni, who relaxed and hugged her back. “I’m so glad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>“My baby I missed you!” Toni rushes as fast as she can towards her truck, caressing the headlight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby walked behind her, hands in her pockets, happy smile on her face. Toni takes a lap around her truck, refamiliarizing herself with it’s curves and dents and scratches. She meets Shelby back at the front and leans against the hood. “You know the first time I ever saw you was through this windshield,” Toni points. “You were on your break at the side of the diner with some of your friends. The first thing I said to myself was that I bet you had beautiful eyes. Turns out I was right,” Toni smiles, reliving the day her truck broke down, thinking it must have been fate. Shelby bashfully looks at the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If this girl hadn’t broken down right then I never would have met you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t imagine my life without you,” Shelby says, stepping closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luckily you don’t have to,” Toni says, closing the distance. As they kissed, the stars watched them from above, clear skies for the first time since Christmas. Both their heads were clear of regrets, of guilt and anger and confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was just them. And to think, it all started with a lonely girl off to the army, and a minimum wage worker with more in store for her than she ever could have guessed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soldier and the waitress, the broken and the damaged, together at last.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>While this is the last formal chapter, I WILL WRITE A SHORT EPILOGUE to wrap everything up, <br/>I hope you like what I did with Dave. The girls deserve happiness and I wanted him to have some character development and not be such an ass. I'd love to hear your thoughts :)<br/>Stay tuned for the epilogue!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Wrapping up!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You guys, this is it, I hope you enjoy this cute epilogue, more notes at the end!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Christmas</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni,” Shelby whispers. “Toni wake up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni grumbles, “I’m sleeping” and put her head under the pillow to block out the sun streaming through the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been up for half an hour, c’mon it’s christmas,” Shelby whines, and shuffles so her mouth is right beside Toni’s ear. “Plus, if you get up now I have a treat for you,” She said in a low, sultry voice. Toni shot up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A treat?” She smirked and leaned in for a good morning kiss. “What kinda treat?” She says, pushing Shelby backwards and planking above her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby giggles and rolls out from under Toni, “Pancakes!” She squeals. Toni stands up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn you and your seductive whispering.” Toni places a kiss on her cheek and heads downstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave was in the kitchen, as was Jane and Cody, home for the holidays. “Good to see you, Cody holds a drink up to Toni in greeting.</span>
</p><p> <span>“You too, Merry Christmas”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Merry Christmas”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby wraps her arms around Toni from behind. “Famous pancakes dad?” Shelby asks, excited. Dave looks at his daughter, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You bet pumpkin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni chuckles and whispers “pumpkin.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby lightly slaps her on the arm, then kisses her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni stayed with the Goodkinds for a month after her deployment while her leg healed and she retrained. Every morning she crawled out of bed at the crack of dawn to run and stretch. Over the month, the couple grew closer than ever, and Dave slowly came to accept that the two were dating, and happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the month, Toni passed her test and was stationed locally while Dot continued to work in admin. Toni saw, or at least had a phone session with her therapist at least once a week, which really helped ease some of her PTSB. While Toni was away, she called Shelby almost every night to talk about anything and everything. Toni also called Dot at least once a week to check in and keep updated. Both were doing well and settled back in easily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After stuffing her face with food, Toni went to change into sweats. “Noo, not today,” Shelby complained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I gotta keep on top of it, you’re welcome to join me,” Toni said with a smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate running,” Shelby pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have an idea, get changed.” Toni said, pulling a light sweater over her tank top.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby only changed because she was curious what Toni was planning. They walked out to the empty sidewalk, lit up by twinkling lights off every house, inflatable decorations littering every lawn. “Get on my back,” Toni says, bending down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Shelby laughs,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, get on. This way you don’t have to run and I can cut it short because it’s more intense.” Shelby huffs and climbs on Toni’s back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re smaller than me, I don’t know how you’re going to - aH” She shrieks as Toni hoists her up. Shelby clings around Toni’s neck but the smaller girl was steady. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You weigh less than my laundry bag,” Toni comments, Shelby too thrilled to respond. Toni starts to jog down the sidewalk, Shelby just enjoying the thrill and watching all the decorations as they passed by. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Shelby got bored. “How are you not out of breath,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do this every day, I’m barely breaking a sweat,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby starts kissing Toni’s neck, “Maybe I can help with that,” she whispers. Toni slows, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being very distracting,” she gasps when Shelby starts sucking on her pulse point. “I’m gonna… drop you, if you don’t stop,” When Shelby continued Toni let go of her legs and spun to catch Shelby before she fell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was sexy,” Shelby grins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made me lose momentum,” Toni growls playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm” Shelby closes her eyes as she kisses Toni and it starts to snow around them. Toni brushes snowflakes from Shelby’s jacket,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, let’s go back. I could use a hot chocolate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby entwines their fingers and huddles close to Toni’s side as they walk back.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Shelby and Toni are playing cards in the living room with Shelby’s parents when the doorbell rings. Shelby looks at Toni who smiles and rushes to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shalifoeeee!” Dot yells, giving Toni a bear hug. Mateo waves from behind Dot. Once the two step back, Toni gives a soft hug to Mateo and turns to find Shelby standing in the doorway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Shelby, thanks for having us over,” Dot says, putting her arm around Mateo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, the more the merrier, come on in.” Shelby’s parents greet the new guests and head to the kitchen to prep dinner while the kids catch up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They put a movie on in the background while they talk, ecstatic to be reunited. Mostly Shelby and Mateo just listened to Dot and Toni describe their recoveries and what they’ve been doing at their new posts. Mateo jumps in about his first tour that just ended and that he’s up for a longer one overseas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m considering going with him,” Dot says, holding his hand. “Ya know, another adventure. I’m sure they could find a position for me to fill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni bites her lip at the thought of her friend going back into danger but she knows it’s important for Dot to follow her own path. “If you do, promise you’ll stay safe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely, I have people to live for now,” Dot looks at Mateo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know exactly what you mean,” Toni responds, sliding her hand across the couch into Shelby’s hand, squeezing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys are so cute it’s sickening,” Dot says, chuckling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni laughs, “Hey, you’re the one who wanted us together in the first place,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” This is news to Shelby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, she’d poke fun at me for our letters and kept telling me how bad I had it for you.” Toni smiles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I was right, lesson learned- listen to Dot,” Dot laughs. “I can’t believe it’s been a year and half since basic, I can remember Klein screaming in my face at five in the morning so clearly I have nightmares about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true,” Mateo jumps in, “She’s woken up at exactly five yelling ‘YES DRILL SERGEANT’ more than a few times, she was so loud we had to move apartments cause the neighbors complained.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh that’s so embarrassing” Dot covers her face while they all share a laugh.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After a beautiful feast and exchanging small gifts with each other, Dot and Mateo head out with big hugs and promises to see each other as soon as possible. Dave, Jane and Cody enjoy the warmth of the fireplace while Toni closes the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby points up, Toni follows her finger and spots the sneaky mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mere,” Toni pulls Shelby in by the hip and kisses her gently. Shelby sighs in contentment, putting her arms over Toni’s shoulders. Suddenly Toni leaps back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Shelby, I don’t think I can do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby stands there stunned, what was going on?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni kept a straight face for a second longer then burst out laughing. “Oh you ass,” Shelby hits Toni with a sleeve and pulls her in for a hug, burying her head in Toni’s neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had you for a second, oh your face,” Toni cries, rubbing her back. “I’m sorry babe, but seriously I have something to show you.” She grabs Shelby’s hand and pulls her out the door without another word. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The walk to the treehouse was comfortable, the weather was mild so the fact that they were in light hoodies wasn’t a problem. “Go up,” Toni gestures to the ladder, a giddy grin on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby raises her eyebrows and heads up, pushing the trapdoor up and gasping at the sight. Toni had strung up fairy lights around the perimeter, a small christmas tree was in the corner, undecorated. There was a bottle of champagne on a little table and two flute glasses. Toni leapt up and closed the trapdoor, waiting for Shelby’s reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was at a loss for words. “It’s beautiful Toni, it’s so… twinkly, you hate twinkly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re twinkly but I love you,” Toni wraps her arms around Shelby’s waist from behind, “Do you like it?” She asked, unsure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love it,” Shelby whispers, turning to place a kiss on Toni’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking we could decorate the little tree together,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that very much,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni places her forehead against Shelby’s and takes strength from the warmth of her partner. “Marry me.” Shelby opened her eyes but didn’t jump back. “Not today, maybe not even next year, but someday. Marry me,” Toni says again, “I love you more than I’ll ever love anyone. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t know how long I have, but however long it is I want to know you’re always there and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni stops her rant, a tear shining in her eye, “Yea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was nodding, getting emotional herself, “Yes, Toni Shalifoe I will marry you. Not today, maybe not next year, but someday,” She repeats Toni’s words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank God,” Toni sighs and grips the front of Shelby’s hoodie, pulling her forward into a heated kiss. Shelby tilts her head and steps closer, the two of them moving as one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby breaks away to breathe and giggles. “Just don’t tell my dad yet. I think he just got used to us dating, if he knew we were engaged…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’d kick me out,” Toni laughs, “I’m surprised he didn’t make me sleep in the guest room this week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wanted you to but he can’t resist my charm,” Shelby smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who could resist that smile,” Toni brushes a thumb over Shelby’s dimple and hugs her tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” she whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” Shelby asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For finally giving me a perfect christmas.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WOW, so that was a journey. I want to thank anyone who read, left kudos, bookmarked and especially left comments. They drove me to spit out a chapter almost every day and seriously lifted my spirits when I was down. <br/>Thank you thank you thank you,</p><p>I really hoped you enjoyed this 33k product of my maladaptive daydreaming, I really enjoyed writing it, developing and exploring the characters and the different relationships. While it might not have been 100% accurate in terms of army stuff, I did do a lot of research on training and stuff so now I know a lot about the American army system lolll. </p><p>Anyway, I'd love to hear what you thought, even if you waited until this was complete to read it. Much love to you all, Thank you so much again for reading! &lt;3</p><p>Sidenote- would anyone be interested in reading a Hogwarts AU where Toni the Slytherin gets jealous of her best friend Martha's new friend in Hufflepuff (if no one has done anything similar yet)<br/>Just an idea I'm entertaining.</p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All constructive and/or positive feedback is welcome and encouraged, it's my fuel!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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